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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28602651">Vampires will never hurt you (most of the times)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_Marshmallow/pseuds/Pink_Marshmallow'>Pink_Marshmallow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>My Chemical Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bite Kink, Blood, Blood Drinking, Character Turned Into Vampire, Claiming Bites, Coffee Shops, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Ghosts, Horror, I write slow, Lap Sitting, Love Bites, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mind Control, Mythical Beings &amp; Creatures, Neck Kissing, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking, Scent Kink, Scent Marking, Sex, Singing, Slow Build, Smut, Temporary Character Death, Thank you for the Venom, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, Vampire!Korse, Vampires, Vampires Will Never Hurt You, Winter, get ready, my chemical romance - Freeform, priest!Gerard, the author has a vampire kink</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:00:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28602651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_Marshmallow/pseuds/Pink_Marshmallow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank Iero believes his life can't get much worse at this point. Then he meets Gerard and slowly it seems it'll get much better. But a group of mysterious creatures have been surroding the city and want something from Gerard. Yet again, life acts like a bitch when Frank is forced to make a difficult decision that will change his life forever.</p><p>Will he be able to save him?</p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;</p><p>I came up with this idea while listening to "Vampires will never hurt you", in the shower. I will include images, music and voice recording for a full sensorial experience</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Frank Iero/Gerard Way</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. And as the sun goes down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>         </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Frank’s gaze switched at the covered sky in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. He sighed and bit the inside of his cheek. He just let them fall looking down at the grave in front of him. People were starting to disperse.</p>
<p>It all started as a bad dream, but as hours passed he’d realized with a clenched heart this was real.</p>
<p>“Ray” He whispered to no one in particular. His best friend was gone now. The reality of being alone started to weigh on his shoulders and he felt the blood falling to his feet. Since he was notified of the car accident there’d been a constant skirl on his ears.</p>
<p>He’d picked up the phone. Laughed when a voice said Raymond Toro had had an accident and was in a serious condition.</p>
<p>Told him to stop joking around.</p>
<p>The police man had a similar voice.</p>
<p>The floor under his feet faded when he insisted he needed to come to the hospital immediately.</p>
<p>A shadow was casted beside him, taller than his, but still didn’t glance at it. That was until the shadow spoke his name.</p>
<p>“Frank. I’m sorry for your loss” He recognized the softly-spoken voice, caught his attention the familiarity with which he spoke his name</p>
<p>“It must rutinary to you, huh?” He clenched his teeth and added with a tint of mockery to the end, “Father.”</p>
<p>“You couldn’t be farther from the truth. He was a close friend.”</p>
<p>Frank closed his eyes once again, thinking that maybe it’d ease the tight knot he felt on his throat. It was the first time someone spoke about him in past tense. He wasn’t prepared for how much it would make his chest ache.</p>
<p>The cold november wind was starting to trespass the fabric of his clothes, chilling him to his very core. Yet, he didn’t want to leave. He wasn’t ready to leave him just yet. Knowing he wouldn’t be there once he got home.</p>
<p>Ray’s mother had come on Saturday to pick up some of his belongings, the ones that meant something to remember him, to treasure. But she’d left other things behind too, trusting Frank with a sad smile to do with them what he felt right. He broke his own guitar that night.</p>
<p>At the lack of a response, Gerard spoke again. “Ray had...some things stored in the church. Whenever you’re ready, you can take them if you’d like.”</p>
<p>Already making space for new members? He bit his lower lip. Didn’t say it at loud.</p>
<p>He simply nodded.</p>
<p>Frank observed the casted shadow on the ground, dim as it was, the way Father Way’s hand raised as if to place it over his shoulder. He stopped inches away from his body, thinking better of it. Yet, Frank thought he could actually feel the weight of that pale hand over him, despite Father Way not touching him.</p>
<p>Part of him wished he was. Craved for someone’s heat to warm him inside out.</p>
<p>“I’m here to talk if you need someone.” He said and turned around. Frank heard his footsteps growing silent as seconds passed and he breathed out the air he didn't realize he was holding</p>
<p>The sky was covered by thick, grey clouds and the lack of sun rays resulted in early darkness. He took a look at his clock. 5 in the afternoon. He was starting to hate this time of year.</p>
<p>Frank took his red rose and tossed it over the coffin. He didn’t know what else to do. Untold things would lay forever now between the two of them.</p>
<p>“Goodbye Ray” His nose itched from unspilled tears and the acute pain over his chest was getting harder to stand. He just wanted to get home, sleep being his only way out.</p>
<p>Frank turned around and forced his feet to walk over the frost covered grass, the same it had begun to fall during the ceremony and damped his thin jacket forcing him to increasingly tremble.</p>
<p>He was about to get going when his eyes caught a glimpse of a closed umbrella sitting by a chair next to him. He looked around and as he’d expect, no one was there to claim it. He hesitated for a moment but ended up taking it, thinking he would return it to Father Way once he decided to go get Ray’s things.</p>
<p>He took a last glance at the dark church. A yellow light at one of it’s windows was the only sign someone was inside and was the only thing illuminating the somber graveyard.</p>
<p>He opened the umbrella and headed to the street before he missed the last bus. Being at a church placed over a hill had it’s disadvantages</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Tear me from the inside out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>    </p>
<hr/>
<p>Frank's not sure how much time had passed or how long he'd been sleeping. It was dark outside which meant he actually slept and not just imagined it, because his body felt heavy and foreing, and he could tell his eyes were puffy because he'd barely manage to open them.</p>
<p>After the first night, he had finally managed to sleep.</p>
<p>That night, when his stomach had clenched, he’d run to the bathroom and poured all of his stomach’s content.</p>
<p>That night, when his thoughts had started to consume him, he had punched the bathroom’s mirror.</p>
<p>That night, when the bleeding on his hand wasn’t stopping, he’d taken his shirt off and pressed it against the wound.</p>
<p>That night, when life felt pointless, he found himself curled on the tiled floor, throat hurting from the harsh screaming, relief washing over him when sleep finally took him away.</p>
<p>In the morning, he carried himself to bed, tripping over the scattered dirty clothes on the floor. Thankfully, he was able to fall asleep again.</p>
<p>Frank glanced at the digital clock next to his bed. Seven o’ clock. He wasn’t able to tell if it was in the morning or in the afternoon. Either way, he didn’t care. Surely more than twenty-four hours had passed. He could barely move his body and his head was exploding. Still, sleep was the best option he was aiming for.</p>
<p>He turned on his bed, back facing the only thing that connected him with reality and dozed off again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He laid in a state between awake and asleep but couldn’t decipher where the sound was coming from. It persisted, causing his mind to slowly wake up and add two plus two.</p>
<p>Frank frowned and opened his eyes with a grunt.</p>
<p>Another knock.</p>
<p>“Fuck off, it’s paid until wednesday!” He yelled, regretting it when a stabbing pain began to grow in his head. “Damn it”</p>
<p>“Frank?” A fruity voice called his name and it took him a second to remember where he’d heard it before. Whatever he wanted, he decided he didn’t care, so he turned around and set his mind on falling asleep again.</p>
<p>Only...the knock insisted.</p>
<p>“Frank please, open the door.”</p>
<p>“Go...Away” He hissed but his visitor pretended he didn’t listen, knocking again. “Son of a bitch” He whispered and slowly sat on the edge of his bed, willing himself the strength to stand up. His head was spinning and the stabbing pain weighted like a hangover, only without the time you get where your life feels problems-free.</p>
<p>Another knock.</p>
<p>“Damn it, I’m coming!!” He shouted, taking a hold of his head.</p>
<p>Once he felt he wasn’t gonna pass out, he got up and picked a dirty long sleeved shirt and headed for the door.</p>
<p>His movements were heavy and lethargic, his limbs foreing to the rest of his body.</p>
<p>When he touched the door knob he hissed at the reminder of the cut in his right hand. His shirt was still tied around it and as soon as he attempted to remove it, he was forced to do it slowlier when dried blood pulled at the scarred tissue.</p>
<p>He bit his lower lip silencing a moan and threw the shirt aside, opening the door with his left hand.</p>
<p>Standing in front of him was a taller man dressed in all black except for a grey and white scarf hanging loosely around a white collar.</p>
<p>“Hey Frank, sorry for disturbing you but I called you and it went directly to the message box.” He greeted with a smile full of small teeth that looked like he’d been chopping on wood, waiting for Frank to say something.</p>
<p>Frank leaned on the door frame for support, exhausted. Didn’t say anything.</p>
<p>“I...was worried, so I brought you something to eat.” He emphasized the statement by raising a white bag seemingly filled with food. A faint hint of pasta reached his nose and his stomach growled.</p>
<p>His dark, kind of greasy?, hair and the top of his pea coat with grey bottoms were covered with snowflakes and it was as if Frank suddenly acknowledged how cold he was, with only a thin long sleeve shirt and the black jean pants he wore for the funeral.</p>
<p>“My line was cut off a few weeks ago.” He simply said toneless, trying his best not to tremble. Central heating never worked since he moved here.</p>
<p>“Oh” Gerard said. Frank nooded. He noticed Gerard’s stare over the cut on his hand and before he could think, he hid it under his armpit. Gerard’s hazel eyes moved up to his with a serious look on them and the intensity on them made Frank feel uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“Look, Father “</p>
<p>“It’s Gerard.” He interrupted him.</p>
<p>“...I know it’s your job to be nice and all that shit but I don’t need your charity.” He went for closing the door but Gerard stopped it with his free hand before he could close it completely.</p>
<p>“Frank. I’m not offering you alms.” He protested, seemingly hurted. “I know how hard this can be and I’d like to lend you a hand.”</p>
<p>Frank was suddenly lightheaded and he couldn’t figure out if it was from being hungry, from sleeping for days or a mix of both.</p>
<p>“I appreciate your concerns Father Way.” He taunted, shivering. “But I politely decline your offering hand” He pushed the door stronger this time and Gerard let it close on his face. Frank closed his eyes at the way his head spun, tiredness over taking his entire body. He lightly heard the sound of bags being moved and nothing more. He guessed Father Way or “Gerard”, how he wanted to be called, got the message and decided to leave.</p>
<p>Frank didn’t want to bother trying to meet new people anymore, knowing they would all eventually leave him. On his good days he’d accept a drink with friends even going out of his way to keep up with them. But most of the time he just didn’t have the energy to do more than what was necessary to prevent his life from falling to pieces. That is, eat, sleep and work (before he lost it of course). And everyone eventually got tired of him not answering calls or messages or cancelling at the last minute and distanced themselves from him.</p>
<p>Everyone but Ray. Somehow, he was the only one to know when he was going through that period of time when everything seemed distant and foreing. When he felt disconnected and wished to be able to enjoy life but thought of himself as being trapped in a glass dome and happiness was on top and outside of it.</p>
<p>He went to a doctor once and he derived him to a psychiatrist. He bought the prescribed medicine with money he didn’t have, that shit was expensive, but it only made things worse. Physically he would get excruciating headaches that bound him to his bed; he was lethargic, causing him to sleep all day when he didn’t have to work. And when he had, he just wouldn’t function; It also caused morning sickness, pulling jokes out of Ray saying he should buy a pregnancy test.</p>
<p>Mentally, he felt worse than before. He was numbed. That was actually funny, medicine was meant to make you heal, right? The emptiness his mind would elaborate, the disconnection with reality was ten times worse than the mild disgust with himself for not being able to keep his shit together. Somehow, it made him want his sorrow back. That was “better” than feeling nothing.</p>
<p>Needless to say he threw the medicine away and never went back to that psychiatrist. Father...Gerard should understand he was a lost cause. He had tried for years to get better, only to find himself once more deep inside the well. Exhausted both mentally and physically.</p>
<p>He pushed himself to the side and fell face first on the sofa, lacking the energy to get to his bed. Despite all of this, he felt guilty for treating Father...Gerard that way. He was Ray’s friend after all and he mindly wondered how he met him. His best friend didn’t seem to be the religious type after all.</p>
<p>These unanswered questions swirled around his head until he felt a little bad for Gerard. Alright, he felt like shit. He imagined someone closing the door on Ray’s face the way he did with Gerard and his blood boiled.</p>
<p>He rubbed his eyes and cursed under his breath at his mind's determination for what he was about to do.</p>
<p>Pushing himself up and grunting at the dizziness returning, he headed for the door hoping Gerard was still there. But as soon as he opened it, he confirmed what deep down he already knew. He was nowhere to be found. Although, the white bags he was carrying were nestled in front of his door.</p>
<p>He inspected down the corridor but only caught a glimpse of a dark shadow turning on the left corner, dimly illuminated by a flickering (sickening) white light, reflected on the olive green painted walls. It was the only one working and trying to fight against the dark void that followed the rest of the hallway until it stopped in front of the broken elevator.</p>
<p>He sighed and picked the bags Gerard had left. When he unpacked its content on the round table, his stomach growled loudly. Inside a white polyurethane container was a large serving of spaghetti and baked potatoes with caramelized onions on top of it. Despite being dead tired, he grabbed a fork, moved some dirty dishes on top of the round table and filled his mouth with the delicious food.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. They'll never get me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Soon, it became a habit. </p><p>Frank absolutely wasn’t looking everyday at the clock on top of the kitchen’s window, waiting.</p><p>Gerard was always punctual</p><p>When the knock came he would stand by the door but always failed to open it. He heard the ever so gently shuffling and the footsteps walking away.</p><p>He always failed to open the door on time.</p><p>Frank was slowly returning, he realized when he decided to clean some of the dishes piling by the sink; His energy and will to do something more than survive wasn’t completely present yet, but he knew that despite that fact, he needed to get a job.</p><p>Frank lost count at how many resumes he presented in different places, but there was always someone better qualified for the job, someone useful. Until one day, Frank was the one to be chosen. A small restaurant had opened close to his apartment and he was hired as a waiter. That, he could do.</p><p>The paycheck was bad and the working days were little, but at least it was a start. A reason to get him out of bed (because if he didn’t, his landlord was gonna be the one to take him out of bed and kick him to the streets). That and the hope of seeing Gerard, despite it never happened because he didn’t know what to do once he got his attention.</p><p>Sometimes, Gerard would leave small notes wishing him a nice day, or reminding him he was there to talk whenever he needed to.</p><p>Frank absolutely didn’t keep them on his night table drawer.</p><p>He did want to talk to him, but couldn't think about what or how to pretend he was an interesting person. His energy was slowly returning but the talkative Frank wasn’t present yet. He had to think fast though, because as he was coming back from the restaurant, he found a tall, dressed-in-all-black Gerard leaning over his front door, leaving some paper bags.</p><p>At the announcing footsteps of someone approaching, Gerard turned his head still leaning. Small teeth drew themselves when he smiled. Frank’s eyes set on them, then on his face and his heartbeat increased a little bit at the unexpected sight.</p><p>“Frank! Good to see you.” Gerard incorporated and stood next to the door, arms hanging on his sides. He waited for Frank to approach. </p><p>When he didn’t, his smile faded a bit. Frank didn’t like when it happened.</p><p>“Hi.” He responded, feet moving on their own.</p><p>“I went shopping today and I thought I could buy some things for you.” He glanced nervously at the bags, searching for the comfort and approval Frank’s face lacked.</p><p>“Thanks.” Frank cringed at how bad he was for small talk. He grabbed some of the bags, the ones that stood in front of his door and Gerard moved to the side. His hands were squirming so he put them in his pocket and nodded slowly.</p><p>“Guess I’ll take my leave now.” <em> Damnit, think fast Iero. </em></p><p>“Do you wanna come in?” He bursted before his mind had time to think of something better to say. Exactly, come to my apartment. My apartment...which is filled with dirty clothes scattered on the floor, untidy living room and weeks old filthy dishes. “I mean...it’s not very clean but..if you want to.” He scratched the back of his head, looking everywhere but Gerard’s face. “You know what, maybe some other time.” He turned around and tried to place the key on the lock. For a moment his fast beating heart made him forget which key opened his front door.</p><p>Gerard leaned with his shoulder against the threshold and Frank saw his face from the corner of his eye. “Frank, I’d love to.” </p><p>“Amm okay. Wait here.” He barely opened the door once he managed to figure out which key was correct, and sneaked inside carrying one bag. </p><p>Gerard waited outside, smiling slightly at Frank’s hurried steps inside his apartment apparently kicking something soft, and the sound of cutlery against porcelain dropping on the sink.</p><p>No more than a few minutes passed and Frank’s silhouette reappeared by the door, holding it open for Gerard to step inside.</p><p>The first thing Gerard noticed was the multiple layers of clothing and plastic bags under a dark wooden coffee table, as if someone had kicked them under it in a last minute arrangement. </p><p>“As I said, it’s not very clean...okay it’s filthy.” He sighed and closed the door.</p><p>“Frank. It’s really okay. My place looks similar to this.” He chuckled. Okay, he lied but he was aware of the fact that Frank suffered from depressive episodes and honestly understood how bad it could get. He didn’t, not even for one moment, judge him.</p><p>Frank hummed and sat on a large gray couch. Gerard wasn’t invited to join so he settled for the chair by the round table.</p><p>“Is that how you attract people to join your cult?” Frank joked, pointing with his head at the paper bags, but came out harsher than he intended to. He was surprised when a fruity laugh came out of Gerard.</p><p>“I don’t run a cult, Frankie. And no, I’m not trying to enroll you into my Church.” Frank decided it was really entertaining to watch his reflection on the turned off tv and a good way to ignore the nickname Gerard had just called him and the effect it had on him. “My job is more like spiritual guidance.” He didn’t miss the way Frank would avoid looking at him in the eyes, or even at his face.</p><p>“No shit.” He dared a glance and noticed the intense gaze Gerard would always wear when looking at him.</p><p>“Shit.” He reaffirmed his lastly spoken words. Frank laughed.</p><p>“I thought priests couldn’t curse.” He slightly turned his body so he was looking in Gerard’s direction.</p><p>“I told you, I’m not a priest.” He imitated Frank's position by crossing his right leg on top of his left’s.</p><p>“Then why do I keep calling you Father?” Gerard didn’t miss a beat at Frank thinking how that word was synonymous with the word ‘daddy’ but could be used in extremely different scenarios. He offered a lopsided smile and Frank didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold his gaze.</p><p>“Because you want to.”</p><p>“People kept calling you ‘Father Way this’ ‘Father Way that’. ” He tried not to stay in the situation he’d heard those words. “I would have looked bad if I called you Gerard.” Said Gerard sighed.</p><p>“I’m not a priest as in the word ‘priest’ “ He quoted the word bending his index and middle finger. “I...talk about catholicism the right way, if that makes sense.”</p><p>“It doesn’t.” Frank answered after thinking for a few seconds. He was starting to relax at the lack of awkward silences and distant looks.</p><p>“I…” He ran his hand through his shoulder-length raven hair. “Catholicism is really messed up these days. There’s people out there thinking they talk in the name of God but when you hear the shit they say, you know God would do a facepalm.” Frank chuckled. “God is about love, acceptance and judgement-free. There are people out there self calling themselves ‘christians’ and clinging to things the Bible says as if it was something God said when most of time, it wasn’t. To give you an example, the part in the Bible that says a man can’t be with a man was written by the self-called ‘Doctors of the Law’ and was in reality a group of old people who would spend their days writing shit like that and telling people that this were laws made by God and that if they didn’t obey ALL of them, they would rot in hell.” </p><p>Frank was trying his best to absorb everything Gerard was saying. He was having a hard time ignoring the way his eyes would shine or the way his hands would move when explaining these things to him.</p><p>“Jesus actually questioned these things and said that ‘they were complicating too much with things that weren’t God’s words’ and these ‘doctors’ were the first to ask for Jesus' crucifixion because he was doubting ‘God’s words’ and by God’s word I mean ‘their words’.” Frank had learned more about religion in five minutes than what he learned in twelve years in a Catholic school. It was true that the way he would picture God to be was contradicting with what people always did justifying their actions with His name. </p><p>“That’s what Jesus said?” Gerard threw daggers at him and he chuckled. “Sorry.”</p><p>“People even have the audacity to think that God will give them a thumbs up and a pat in the head for spreading hate and judging people’s life style, sometimes pushing them to commit suicide because of the bile in their words.” Frank raised his eyebrows at the anger in his words. “So yeah, it’s easier to let people call me Father than explaining all of this to them.” He shook his head as if clearing it and got up, heading for the small window that showed an empty alleway.</p><p>“Then why did you explain it to me?”</p><p>“You’re special.” Frank’s heart began to do this annoying tickling again and it extended to the tip of his fingers.</p><p>“Special as in ‘so dumb I have to explained it slowlier to you’ or…” Gerard, who wasn’t really looking outside the window, was pensive and a toothless smile was directed at Frank.</p><p>“Special as in ‘I wanna be your friend, first’ “ He teased. Frank opened his mouth but no words came out. There it was again. Gerard’s intense gaze was on him again and he felt exposed, thinking that maybe he was able to read his mind. Frank returned to his entertaining reflection.</p><p>“So you don’t give masses.” Frank played dumb.</p><p>“No. On wednesdays I do readings on the subject I just told you.” He came back to his previous chair, never missing the way Frank let go of a breath, he had been unconsciously holding, when he stopped looking at him.</p><p>“On wednesdays we wear pink.” He murmured but Gerard caught on it and laughed.</p><p>“Did you just quote a ‘Mean girls’ reference?”</p><p>“Maybe.” He hugged his raised leg and gave Gerard a smirk, holding bis gaze. It was Gerard’s turn to look aside smiling and biting his lower lip. “No but seriously, how do you pay bills and all that.”</p><p>“I’m a freelance artist. I do all kinds of stuff, from logotypes to co-participate in the drawing process of comics.” Frank raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“Now 'that' I didn’t see it coming.” He said with a pointing finger. Gerard’s small teeth showed when he smiled looking at his hands, puckering his fucking (cute) pixie nose.</p><p>“I’m full of surprises.”</p><p>“I bet.” Frank led him on. His breath got caught in his throat when Gerard’s deep green eyes settled on his own. They had a certain spark to them and Frank found himself unable to tear his gaze away from him. His eyes slowly went to Frank's lips and before he thought of something better to do, Frank licked them.</p><p>It was Gerard who interrupted the (at a lack of better words) ‘eye fuck’. “There are dairy products in some of those bags. You should put them in your fridge.” Gerard might as well give a fuck about the dairy products, but things were taking a good route and he didn’t want to do something that could messed the progress. He had the habit of jumping on people (and with people I absolutely mean on somebody’s dick) he had only met a few times to later become only a one night stand. He wanted to gain Frank's trust.</p><p>“Shit I’m an idiot. Do you want something to drink?” He said getting up, pretending he didn’t just decrease his passing so he could smell the strong wave of incense emitting from Gerard. “I have water...beer...and that’s about it” He declared as he leaned in front of the now open fridge. Gerard’s eyes were focused on the fridge’s content, yes they were.</p><p>“Nah it’s okay Frankie, I gotta go.” He responded as he got up..</p><p>“Really?” Frank mentally cursed himself at the hint of disappointment that tinted his word.</p><p>Gerard smiled again. “Yeah. But we can hang out some of these days if you want. I can come here, or you can go to the church.”</p><p>“I thought you weren’t trying to enroll me.” He followed Gerard to the door, missing a beat when both went for the door knob and his hand brushed Gerard’s cold one. He played dumb and withdraw it gently, aiming to hide his sudden nervousness from Gerard.</p><p>“Trust me Frank, I’m not inviting you to my Church to do something religion related.” Frank’s gaze landed on Gerard, wide eyed and the lean, tall man simply gave an innocent smile. His green eyes shifted to Frank’s lips, so fast he stood thinking if Gerard had actually done that and he turned around heading for the empty hallway. </p><p>Frank wanted to say some smartass shit but nothing came out of his mouth, his worned out brain too busy working on trying to process everything that had happened in the last thirty minutes.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Fear and excitement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>   </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The next day Frank woke up filled with a strange sense of hope. One that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Despite getting used to the rollercoaster of emotions he felt as the years passed by, it still surprised him when he’d reach this state; because now it was stronger. Yes, he would often think of Ray and his mood swifted, but as days had passed and then they turned into weeks, the sorrow would lessen and he’d acknowledge the fact that his best friend would have wanted for him to carry on. If Ray was alive, he’d feel guilty and downhearted once he realised Frank had actually considered taking his life because of the pain it caused to lose him. </p><p>If it was the other way around, if Frank was the one to die, he was certain he’d kick Ray in the balls if he dared to cry and enter in a depressive state (despite knowing it wasn't under his control). After all, he wanted his best friend to only be happy. After all, death was but a problem for the people left behind. The same way a funeral was for the living.</p><p>He glanced at the illuminated numbers on his bedside table. It was midday. Frank was washed over with the want of getting up. Gerard should be here any minute now.</p><p>Grabbing a basket he started to pick up all the dirty clothes laying on the floor, having to stop under the coffee table where he had kicked a large amount yesterday.</p><p>He glanced around and once there was nothing left to pick, he threw the basket in his room making a mental note to later take them to the laundry around the corner, and headed for the sink filled with dishes, cutlery and all kinds of cups. He stood for a few minutes contemplating the mess and trying to decide if he was gonna take care of it now or extend it for a few days. He decided he was gonna clean a few of them so his job was easier; but one dish led to another and he ended up washing everything. </p><p>Now, drying was something else entirely meant for future Frank.</p><p>He glanced at the clock, <em> 12:30. </em>He frowned. Okay, it was only half an hour late but giving the fact that for the last 3 weeks he could have wound a clock with the punctuality of the knock on his door, it was weird.</p><p>Frank ignored the thoughts that lined up on his mind saying that Gerard wasn’t really interested in him, and placed two cups on the now clean round table. He then went to boil water and placed a lemon tea bag, Gerard had gotten him, next to each cup.</p><p>He stood with arms on his hips, admiring the result and proud with himself.</p><p>He sat next to the round table, which now had a tablecloth to cover the worned out wood, and waited for the soon to be knock. But as soon as he sat, the cotton around his ass reminded him of the fact he was still wearing his pajama pants and long sleeve shirt; so he dashed to his room and put on some clean grey jeans with a navy blue cotton sweater on top of his pajama shirt, and his worn out black and white tenis.</p><p>A sudden thought made him stop as he was heading for the dinning table. Was this too much? Would this make Gerard feel uncomfortable? </p><p>These unnerving words were slowly replaced with a veil of disappointment as the clock hand continued to turn but without the interruption of the gentle knock.</p><p>14:00 o’ clock soon turned to 16:00 o’clock and Frank was slumped on his couch, with the tv on but not really watching it. He reviewed the events of yesterday in the search of something that might have gone wrong. He remembered it from beginning to end but wasn’t able to put his finger on a thing that might have pushed Gerard away. Besides, if Gerard had kept coming after being constantly ignored, it wasn’t very likely for him to run away now.</p><p>Despite this idea having a good logic and truth to it, he still felt uneasy and his intrusive thoughts took advantage of this by saying things like ‘He knew Gerard wouldn’t be interested once he opened his mouth’ or that ‘Gerard wanted someone he could rely on when feeling bad, and Frank was barely able to keep himself surviving’.</p><p>His good mood had gone flying out the window when he finally found the will to get up, and with slouched shoulders and slightly dragging feet, he headed for his room to get ready for his 17:00 shift.</p><p>When Frank had gone out that day, there was a small tear of hope inside his chest that maybe Gerard had come but for some reason he hadn’t heard him.</p><p>That tear broke when there was nothing next to his door announcing that Gerard had, indeed, come.</p><p> </p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</p><p>
  
</p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</p><p>The next day Frank wasn’t as energetic as the day before. Still, after rubbing his eyes and letting his hands linger on them, he got up with his chest tinted in hope that maybe Gerard had a last minute thing and wasn’t able to come to his apartment yesterday. The Church was 30 minutes by bus anyway. He was aware that it consumed a lot of Gerard’s time to make this everyday.</p><p>Maybe he’d been working in an office these weeks and that’s why he’d done this for Frank. If that was true, he tried to ignore the disappointment of knowing that Gerard wasn’t gonna keep coming to his apartment anymore; but a part of him knew that Gerard would have let him know if that was the case.</p><p>He sighed when his eyes caught a glimpse of the clock and realized it was one in the afternoon and he hadn't heard a knock in the two hours he had been awake staring at his white roof.</p><p> </p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</p><p> </p><p>The fourth day without any signs of Gerard caught an anxious Frank passing back and forth on his apartment with his mind feeding on the thought that maybe something had happened to Gerard. As much as he knew, Gerard lived alone. What if he had fallen in the shower and his head had cracked open? Or what if something happened to him on his way to the Church after his visit to Frank? Like a thief stabbing him in the chest for not giving him the phone on time or accidentally falling in an open pit on the graveyard of his backyard. </p><p>He hadn’t been able to sleep much last night thinking about all of this ‘what if’s’. His mind had done a splendid job going through all different scenarios. From a painful death to simply not liking Frank.</p><p>He was exhausted, his stomach flipped with unknown worry. He needed an answer.</p><p>...What if he had a car accident?</p><p>Something in Frank snapped. With his mind set, he grabbed his coat, put on the snow boots next to his entrance door and after locking his apartment and checking he had his wallet in his pocket, he began walking (faster than what you would consider normal) to the bus stop.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><em>In tarot, the Nine of Swords is about of the fear and anxiety . This card is not an indication of negative events actually happening, just that your fear and anxiety levels are so high they are making you feel that things are worse than they are.</em><br/>Let's hope this was Frank's case</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hand in mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>   </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A dimmed veil of sunray  from hidden skies fell upon a mesmerized Frank Iero. As much as he tried, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the gothic structure.</p><p>The large tower with a pointy end stood next to the main building. A prevalent tall and arched lancet window, featuring a meticulously cut colored glass, sat against the stone wall overshadowing it’s twin, smaller windows placed on the lower part of the building. </p><p>On top of what Frank would consider to be the roof of a questionable third floor, there were sleeping gargoyles, stuck on every side of the Church, protecting it against hidden demons for centuries to come and surrounding the end of the breathtaking sight with a decorated pinnacle.</p><p>As he got closer, the main building welcomed him with a round rose window, tinted with the same shiny colored glass, bigger than anything he had ever seen. It sat upon a set of embellished colonnades which extended along the structure’s height.</p><p>A mix of snow and dirt cracked under his feet when he began to climb the set of stone stairs that led to the principal entrance. Under it, a tall, thin pointed arch stood with decorated colonettes on its sides.</p><p>Frank wouldn’t consider himself to be a religious type but he wouldn’t mind coming to a place like this everyday. He might as well follow Gerard’s steps and become a ‘priest, but not really’ just so he could live in a place like this. He laughed at the thought of him leading a Mass. Yeah, that wasn’t happening.</p><p>The heavy, metal doors were open and Frank stepped inside. If the outside facade was breathtaking then he wouldn’t be able to breath inside. Standing at the end of the narthex, his eyes followed the empty nave decorated with a large red carpet, meeting its end on the altar. Said altar had a large, triple lancet window holding tracery glass with red and violet undertones. </p><p>Each aisle was accompanied with a pair of the same type of lancet window but featuring different figures on the tracery painted glass. </p><p>The place was dimly illuminated by a set of candles placed on the altar, and the clouds covering the weak, winter sun rays entering throughout the tinted glass was not enough to light the corners of the somber church.</p><p>As his eyes examined the gothic church, something that he thought to be whispers caught his attention. There, on one of the empty black wooden pews, sat a black haired person with his back to the doors. His heart skipped a beat.</p><p>Without thinking, he began to approach but was stopped dead on his tracks when a second person came into view. A brunette man with glasses covering his eyes was sitting next to who he was sure was Gerard, whispering things to him.</p><p><em> Too close. </em>He thought with a strange mix of anger and nervousness. </p><p>The man seemed distressed though, and was practically hissing in Gerard’s direction. His left hand was grabbing the back side of the pew while his right was gesturing the words coming out of his mouth.</p><p>Frank sat on one of the pews far from them and tried to listen to what was making the boy with bangs so angry. </p><p>The only things he could make out were ‘He knew this would happen’ and ‘hiding place’. </p><p>Gerard, on the other side, not even once glanced at the man, eyes stuck on the altar. His head would eventually move slightly and Frank could feel the vibration of Gerard’s silvery voice. He relaxed at the thought of him being okay and not involved in some car accident.</p><p>When the thin man got up in a hurry, Frank lowered his body so he wouldn’t be caught prying on them. As the brunette was storming out of the church, his eyes rested on Frank’s silhouette and through the corner of his eye, Frank studied the guy’s anger in his facial expression.</p><p>Gerard didn’t move, not even when the guy got up. He stood still, back barely moving. Frank waited for the man to exit the church and then waited a few more minutes, thinking what he would say to the raven haired man sitting five pews in front of him.</p><p>When the only thing Frank could hear was the telling sound of the wind whistling as it went through the high windows announcing an approaching storm,  he stood up and hissed at how cold his feet were.</p><p>Ignoring the fact that the church’s high roof created a private winter, Frank walked slowly in Gerard’s direction but the closer he got, the more his smile faded and was replaced with a frown. The priest-but-not-really had his eyes unfocused and a single tear slinked down his right eye. His ghostly face had a paler undertone to it and the chilling wind was quickly forgotten. His heart twitched at the sight.</p><p>“Gerard? Are you okay?” Frank doesn’t know what came to him or how he lost his inhibition but when he opened his eyes, he found himself hugging a stiff Gerard.</p><p>“Frankie…” Was Gerard’s response in a breathy whisper. Frank didn’t let go and the raven haired boy slowly relaxed in his arms, returning the embrace. “I’m okay, it’s just…” Frank felt the way Gerard’s breath would caress his red-from-the-cold ears and he got goosebumps all around his neck, completely unrelated with temperature. </p><p>The taller man let go and so did Frank reluctantly. “I…” His eyes dropped to his joined hands seemingly searching for the right words and continued. “I just received some bad news. That’s all.” He offered Frank a reassuring smile but he could easily see behind it.</p><p>“I’m sorry...I,” Frank didn’t have much experience at consoling people but he timidly placed his hand over Gerard’s iced cold ones, giving them a comforting squeeze. “I hope whatever it is, it gets better.” He didn’t push Gerard for more information. It wasn’t something he was supposed to know. If he wanted to talk about, then he’d listen.</p><p>“Thanks Frankie.” Gerard gave him a sad smile. Frank didn’t miss the way Gerard’s fingers gently caressed Frank’s and the smaller man realized with a thump that he had just grabbed Gerard’s hands. He thought the slumped figure could feel the fast beating of his heart and this made him more self-aware.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have come without notice. Sorry.” He went for standing up but stopped when he felt Gerard’s hand tightening his grip around him for a second before letting go.</p><p>“No! It’s okay. You’re always welcome here.” He said, signaling the walls that surrounded them. Frank couldn’t figure if he was talking about the church or his home. You see, the first is something any priest would say; but the later was about coming to see <b>him</b>. “I’m really okay.” He repeated looking at Frank’s brown eyes.</p><p>“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Frank was surprised at what had come out of his mouth. Gerard’s wide eyes staring back at him reflected the same emotion. Gerard’s mouth twitched in a silent smirk, admitting being caught.</p><p>“To what do I owe the honor of having you visit me Frank?” Gerard clearly changed the topic, putting on his tranquil façade and Frank hated to see it happen. He knew something was bothering him and he wished to help him. Yet again, he couldn’t force Gerard to open up when they barely knew each other.</p><p>“Well. As you can see, I am the religious type after all.” Gerard genuinely snickered and Frank mirrored his smile, feeling slightly better.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t go to your apartment these last days.” Frank’s breath got caught in his throat. </p><p>“You...You don’t have to apologise!” His voice echoed around the tall walls and Gerard looked up at him. His cheeks heated with embarrassment at his words sounding so loud. “Sorry...I just wanted to check on you and see you hadn’t cracked your head open in the shower or something like that...”As his words were coming out of his mouth and he realized the shit he was saying, he lowered his voice until the last thing he said was barely a whisper.  </p><p>Gerard stared at him with a tilted head and scanning eyes, and Frank’s heartbeat quickened as he was seeing right through him. A genuine smile appeared on his thin lips and Frank reflected it without thinking.</p><p>“Do you want a cup of coffee Frank?” He asked, dropping his gaze.</p><p>“Please. I’m freezing.” He emphasized his statement by sticking his hands under his armpits and sticking his neck further down his black scarf. Gerard’s melodious laugh reached his ears in the form of a gracious echo and it went through his body, down to the tips of his toes. He shuddered but the cold church had nothing to do with it.</p><p>
  <em>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</em>
</p><p>He followed Gerad down the aisle, heading for a small door on the left side of the building. Frank didn’t miss the way Gerard would avoid to put too much weight on his right foot and he desperately wanted to know what had happened.</p><p>When the dark figure opened the door, he stepped aside and gestured for Frank to go in first. He froze before he forced his feet to move forward, without missing a beat at the heat radiating from Gerard when he was close enough to be self aware about it.</p><p>Once inside, his eyes tried to adjust to the pitch black hallway and because his concentration was entirely spilled over trying to see the shadow casted by the surrounding elements, he jumped out of his skin when Gerard grabbed his wrist.</p><p>“Easy Frank. I don’t bite.” He couldn't make out Gerard’s features but he seemed to be looking straight at Frank’s face. He gulped and stopped breathing. Despite not being able to see more than his silhouette, he could feel his hungry gaze on him. Unmoving. Unnerving. <em> Exciting </em>.</p><p>Gerard seemed to snap out of it when Frank heard him breath again, and so did he. The tall figure moved forward, gently bumping Frank’s shoulder in the process and immediate electricity ran from the place he had touched him.</p><p>“The light bulb burned yesterday.” He simply justified his hold on Frank’s wrist as he guided him through the narrow hallway. The darkness surrounding them along with the sparks going up his arm and to his chest from Gerard’s gentle but firm touch, were making Frank light headed.</p><p>Gerard squeezed his wrist seemingly with no reason, and this time the sparks went down to his groin. The bastard was enjoying it. He knew it.</p><p>When they reached yet another door, the man in front of him opened it and Frank got his vision back. But Gerard didn’t let go, he looked him in the eyes with a hungry gaze and Frank felt smaller than he already was. </p><p>This time, Gerard switched the lights on and reluctantly let go of his wrist. He had to squint as he had gotten used to darkness, already missing his touch. The man in front of him turned around and Frank had to look twice at the kind expression. He woundered if there were two Gerards because five seconds ago, he looked at him as if he was about to fuck him right under the treshold and now he was all friendly and not touchy at all. Frank thought how he could bring the first Gerard back.</p><p>Gerard snapped two fingers in front of him and Frank realized he had said something which went completely ignored.</p><p>“You with me?” He asked, figers dying to move the thin lock of hair that had fallen over Frank’s forehead.</p><p>“Yeah, I spaced out.” He looked around the kitchen because if he kept this game going, he was gonna be surprised with a hard on.</p><p>The kitchen was quite small when compared to the rest of the church, in a rectangular shape with simple fixing and a clean floor. A vertical rectangular window opposite to the entrance showed a small tree violently moving, silently announcing the storm coming; The light was a bit yellow and that made the already outdated-decorated kitchen shabbier. Moreover, due to the limited space, all the light-blue cabinets had to be hung above on the wall. The color of the cabinets together with the pale yellow light, created a harmonized tone of the kitchen, which gave him warmth.</p><p>Near the window, there were different small-sized bottles of salt, sugar and pepper; different sizes of knives, long, short, big and small; a silver-colored tap and sink; a wooden round chopping board; and some washing-up liquid. There was also a little black radio for entertainment. </p><p>“No shit.” Frank raised his eyebrows. He loved to hear Gerard curse. “I asked you how you wanted your coffee.”</p><p>“Oh. Black.” Gerard offered him a smile and walked to the coffee machine. “Please, sit.” </p><p>Frank did as he was told and sat in front of a small, square table standing against white painted walls. He wished he had brought his gloves when he looked at the tips of his fingers turning a dim blue. He put them back under his armpits.</p><p>“So, how long have you been living in chastity?” Gerard’s back jerked and Frank smiled at the silent chuckle.</p><p>“Five years on april.” Frank lost himself in Gerard’s careful movements. He was wearing those tight black jeans that made his ass look amazing, with a black jumper and, of fucking course, a leather jacket surrounding the white collar. This sight generated so many dirty thoughts in him, to the point he had to shake his head slightly to pay attention to what Gerard was saying. “And since I’m not a real priest, “ He turned his head, making sure Frank was watching when he said “I don’t have to live in chastity.”</p><p>“Fuck.” He growled under his breath. The mission of not getting hard had failed completely when he picture himself fucking Gerard’s brain out over the sink, jacket still on, while pulling his hair and calling him ‘Father’.</p><p>“il tuo caffè, signore” Gerard placed a steaming big cup in front of him, and he had a bittersweet taste when his imagination got interrupted. Thankful that he wasn’t gonna have to go to the bathroom; and angry he couldn’t keep hearing Gerard’s moans and pleads for more, in his head.</p><p>“What?” Frank grabbed the small jar with sugar.</p><p>“Aren’t you italian?” Gerard sat in front of Frank with a similar cup but with a whiter liquid.</p><p>“What part of my New Jersey accent made you think that?” He grabbed the cup, thankful for the heat over his hands. He remained like that, warming them.</p><p>“Well, then you’re given false information with your last name.” He put four spoons of sugar and his eyes set on Frank. He snickered.</p><p>“I’ll be more careful then.”  When he sipped the steaming coffee, he purred and closed his eyes, enjoying as the warm liquid fell through his esophageal, already warming the rest of his body. When he opened them again, Gerard’s eyes were set on him, mouth slightly agape. There it was, that look again. A chill ran down Frank’s spine and when Gerard smiled, Frank was amazed at the way his eyes would twinkle and the devouring gaze was hidden once again under a tender glance. It was as if he could put a mask on.</p><p>“This is some fucking good coffee.” He took another sip and didn’t miss the way Gerard carefully watched the movement of the exposed part of his throat. He lingered there, Frank purposely swallowing and Gerard kept watching. But when he needed to breathe, Gerard’s eyes slowly crawled to his brown ones, savoring the slow pace with which they moved. He looked at him from under his lashes.</p><p>“I’m glad, because I poured all my love in it.” This guy was gonna be the end of Frank, for sure. He opened his mouth but couldn’t figure what else to do or say, so he settled for drinking the remainder of his made-with-all-my-fucking-love coffee and diverted his gaze from a fucking sexy Gerard just in time to see a medium branch coming at the window.</p><p>Gerard jumped on his seat when it hit the glass but Frank was prepared. Luckily, the glass survived and both of them were now gazing at the hell unleashing outside. The snow storm had come sooner than expected. Frank had heard on the bus two people talking about the weather and one of them mentioned a blizzard coming at late hours of tonight.They were so focussed on each other, they hadn’t heard the winds whistling loudly against the tall building or the sound of falling branches and moving stones.</p><p>Frank cursed under his breath once he realized he didn’t live here, he had to take the bus, it was getting dark and most likely no public transportation worked with this low visibility.</p><p>“Welp,” Gerard’s attention focused on him. “Looks like you’ll have to stay the night.” Frank didn’t miss the grin on Gerard’s voice.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I won't let them hurt you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <em>Play this, as it is what Frank and Gerard are hearing</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwihowRMFJA</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>      </p><hr/><p>Frank’s fingers caressed the vast collection of old books lined up on the black wooden shelf. Some of them seemingly older than the gothic style itself. His eyes landed on a particular vermillion one with trimmed gold lines following the edges on words that made Frank raise his eyebrow.</p><p>
  <em> ‘leiðbeining um vampírur’ </em>
</p><p>Frank may not have been very good at languages, hell, he could barely consider himself good at english; but it was obvious to him what this book was about. The top was dust free, unlike others from the collection, so Gerard must have been reading it.</p><p>He took a hold of its back, sick with curiosity; but Gerard’s voice calling his name from the kitchen stopped him dead on his tracks, pulling his hand away in a motion that seemed as though he had burned.</p><p>“What would you like to eat, Frankie?” Gerard asked, raising his voice. The high speed winds crashing against the church made hard for a silent parade to reing between them.</p><p>“Amm..” He looked everywhere, trying not to get caught at what he was about to do. Frank couldn’t understand why he felt he wasn’t supposed to see that book but his heart quickened. He settled for sitting on the large, sturdy sofa laying perpendicular to a burning fireplace. </p><p>Gerard had put on the fire half an hour ago when Frank’s shivering went from unnoticed to teeth chattering. He had been wearing a awful lot more layers of clothing than Gerard but the latter seemed to be completely unaware of the blizzard going on outside. </p><p>With telling approaching footsteps Gerard stood under the doorway waiting for Frank’s answer. He tried to act relaxed but his fast beating heart heated his body faster than the chimney next to him, and he got the sudden thought Gerard could hear it.</p><p>“Anything without meat.” Gerard scanned Frank’s face with a raised eyebrow and Frank offered him a timid smile. </p><p>“Are you vegetarian?”</p><p>“Yeah. And a broke one, so my main dishes consist of rice and cheap vegetables.” Gerard’s throaty laugh washed over him with a wave of warmth.</p><p>“I admire you. I’d love to be vegetarian too but…” He turned around holding his gaze “ sometimes it feels physically impossible.” Frank wasn’t sure if his eyes were playing a trick on him but he believed to have seen Gerard’s gaze fall upon the mysterious book as he was turning. Now, this had picked his curiosity and he vaguely wondered what was this all about.</p><p>He let his back fall against the soft cushions, breathing out the air he had unconsciously held. The soft sounds of cutlery against porcelain, the warmth radiating from the wild fireplace and Gerard’s voice coming from the kitchen as he sang a gentle tune were heavy on his eyelids and Frank had no other option than to close his eyes as he let his body enter a tranquil state, which tasted like sumerging his body on a hot tub after a very long day. Radiant arms hugged him from behind and he felt himself slipping away, carried by familiar arms and a sweet voice softly whispering in his ear.</p><p>He allowed his mind to wander as he succumbed to sleep. Frank wasn’t aware of how tired he was until now, entering a state between awake and asleep. Or maybe it was because he knew he was safe with Gerard. That was something he had never experienced before. Even with Ray, it had taken some time to actually trust him and let him in. After all his supposed ‘friends’ had ended up stepping over him, he had decided he was gonna be on his own, not needing any more reasons than his own brain to trigger his depressive episodes. Ray was different though; and maybe so was Gerard.</p><p>There was something about the tall man that attracted him like water in the desert. Yeah, he was undeniably hot; but Frank had met attractive men before and wasn’t slightly interested in approaching. But Gerard...was a completely different story. He knew he wasn’t seeing the whole picture yet, and that he should be wary. Frank even specifically remembers convincing himself not to let his guard down around Gerard when he had started bringing him food. And look at him now, sleeping on Gerard’s couch, completely exposed. An easy prey to hunt. He wanted to punch himself for letting his barriers down so easily, <em> so innocently. </em> But something inside of him wanted to trust him so badly. <em> Wanted him so badly. </em></p><p>Frank knew he hadn’t changed. He wasn’t suddenly gonna let anyone in. Although, <em> Gerard wasn’t just anyone </em> , he was...Gerard. He couldn’t understand what made Gerard so special. Yeah, he was one of Ray’s friends and his best friend didn’t hang out with bad-intentioned people. Yeah, he had comforted Frank when nobody else did. Yeah, he knew he suffered from depressive episodes and this one was gonna be the worst he had ever had, so he went out of his way everyday to bring him healthy food knowing Frank was barely gonna get up to go to the bathroom. He also didn't force Frank to talk or to do anything if he didn't want to; But that shouldn’t be enough for Frank to think of Gerard the way he thought of him. To crave for his affection and <em> touch </em>so much. </p><p>He was scared. Terrified actually. To be this vulnerable around someone. To let Gerard have this much power over him. To realize that if he kept this way, he would have in his hands the power to destroy him. But there was something <em> intoxicating </em>about Gerard, and Frank panicked when he realized he was willing to die if it meant he would get to taste this venom.</p><p>A gust of wind in rhythm with a sudden high-pitched whistle forced him out of his drunken state, disappointed when those ghostly arms disappeared from around his waist when he opened his eyes. </p><p>He surveyed the room, searching for the responsible of having his thoughts interrupted until his brown pair landed at the foot of the closed door. An idea came to his mind and he asked Gerard.</p><p>“Gerard?”</p><p>“Yeah?” The singing voice answered.</p><p>“Did you close the entrance door?” A few seconds passed in what Frank assumed was Gerard’s brain thinking and heard a low curse.</p><p>“Damn it. I forgot. Could you close it for me, Frankie? The padlock is next to the door.” </p><p>Frank dreaded the idea of having to enter the somber church alone, far from his comfortable spot next to the fireplace and Gerard, but he wasn’t about to say no.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Thanks Frankie.” God, his heart was making some work when he referred to him with that pet name. He took a deep breath and forced his body to push himself away from the comfy couch as he headed for the closed door separating them from the dark and cold church.</p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</p><p>
  
</p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</p><p> </p><p>When he opened it, he was forced to squint in order to try and see something. It was pitch black, the light emitting from the candles long since gone. His eyes couldn’t adjust yet. Taking a deep breath to give himself some bravery, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him so the heat didn’t escape the living room. </p><p>Frank wasn’t one to be afraid of the dark, but he got a sudden spark of fear at the idea of entering this part of the church. Every inch in his body telling him to go back.</p><p>He carefully walked as his eyes slowly made out the silhouette of the lined up pews facing the altar. The air zapped snow into the church and Frank cursed under his breath. He had left his jacket over the sofa, and was now shaking violently. </p><p>He walked with hurried steps to the front door, more confident now that the light post across the street spilled over the narthex and he was able to make out his surroundings. </p><p>Frank pushed one of the heavy doors but the latest wouldn’t buch. He tried harder and through clenched teeth, the door started moving with a squeaking hinge (making Frank uneasy) until he heard an echoed clank, the effort having made his body temperature rise slightly. He lowered the thick barrete to the floor and headed for the next door, wiping his hands over his jeans.</p><p>But as he was about to close the heavy metal door with his lips pressed in a fine line and breathing hard throughout his nose, his eyes landed on a tall person watching him from across the street. </p><p>Frank stood still, unsure of what to do next. Did he come to pray? But...in the middle of a blizzard? He hadn’t tried to stop Frank though. Neither had he turned around when he saw him closing the church. He just stood there, watching the entrance, and more precisely, staring at Frank. This alarmed him.</p><p>“Sorry but it’s closed for today.” He shouted over the deafening wind. The person didn’t move. He had his hands buried in the pockets of his green parka and was wearing some black jeans and a black knitted hat. Definitely not appropriate for the current weather at hand.</p><p>Frank tried to make out his features to have something more than what he was wearing to describe to Gerard. But after a few seconds of intently staring at his face, Frank was overwhelmed with a sudden wave of crippling fear. </p><p>He gasped and the man moved with unnatural speed in his direction. Frank panicked when a pale face stood inches away from his, and immediately pushed the door. When he heard a clunk he kicked the barrette and desperately tried to remember where Gerard had told him the padlock was. He ran to his right, heart hammering on his chest,  and groped the stone wall until he came across with what felt like chains and a padlock. </p><p>Frank jumped out of his skin when a blaring knock was heard on the metal door over the hissing wind. The sound repeated, increasing with each hit and with trembling hands, Frank dashed to place the chain on the barrier but he couldn’t place the padlock between the hollowed chains.</p><p>He heard a piercing scream outside and Frank whimpered and lowered his body as the doors started to move. Frank slowed his mind so he was able to think how to place the padlock, and after holding the united chains with his thumb and index finger he was able to blindly lock the door.</p><p>As soon as the telling ‘click’ flooded the eerie church, the guttural scream and deafening knocks stopped all together.</p><p>Frank’s panting and his fast heartbeat were the only sounds to join the whistling wind. He couldn’t be sure he hadn’t shat his pants. </p><p>He closed his eyes and lowered himself against the cold metal until he was sitting on the floor, trying to calm himself down.</p><p><em> What, in the fucking hell, was that? </em>It was humanly impossible to run that fast. Was he planning on robbing him? But...why the screaming? And how was he able to knock so hard on such thick doors? The hits seemed to be coming from everywhere, as if a mob was trying to take the doors down. More importantly, how was Gerard not already here? The knocks along with the high-pitched screams resonated around the church and it was impossible he hadn’t heard it.</p><p>His thoughts were suddenly stopped when something that sounded like whimpering came from the closest corner to his slumped body. Frank froze, feeling rooted to the spot. His face turning ashen when his brain named the sound. He closed his eyes, eyebrows furrowing in fear. He shook his head.</p><p>This is not happening.</p><p>The whimpering was louder and Frank felt like whimpering too. Now that the door was closed, he was drowning on a pitch black cave. He was only able to make out the dim lines of the closest pews.</p><p>His chest ache at the cold air rapidly entering his lungs. A spray of mist painted in front of him with each exhalation. Frank wasn’t about to do the mistake people make in horror movies when they hear someone crying and try to help. He was only trying to overcome this state of crippling fear so he could dash to get Gerard. But a broken voice stopped him.</p><p>“Could you help me?” Frank hadn’t thought about the possibility of someone ‘human’ being here before he went out to close the doors. This was a church after all and it wasn’t odd to find people here. Maybe she (because the voice sounded female) had been here before the storm unleashed and was waiting for someone to pick her up or for the blizzard to stop. “Sir.” Frank had thought the worst after that strange event and now felt stupid.</p><p>“I’m sorry but...I’m not in charge.” He got up, buttocks frozen and turned in the direction the voice was coming from. </p><p>Something wasn’t right though. Why wasn’t she sitting in a pew. Why was she...fucking hunched over a corner?</p><p>“Please, I need your help.” Frank was restless. All the hairs in his nape and arms stood on end when the woman turned. Every inch in his body was screaming at him to run.</p><p>He wasn’t able to make out her features. He could only see a moving shadow, but given the way she slowly walked with a hunched back, she seemed to be an eldery person. As she was getting closer, a cold sweat broke down Frank’s back. He unconsciously gave one step back and the lady stopped dead on her tracks. He widened his eyes and stopped breathing. His mind was filled with the same thought over and over again.</p><p>
  <em> Wrong move. Wrong move. Wrong move. </em>
</p><p>Fingertips like feathers caressed his nape and he shrieked in surprise. His body rapidly turned, hand protecting his nape but there was no one standing behind him. He turned again and scanned the place where the old woman was standing, only to find the spot empty. He gazed around; the corner where he had first found her; behind him; but nothing. He couldn’t be sure due to the lack of visibility but he thought to be completely alone. Frank wasn’t gonna stay around to confirm it anyway. </p><p>He sprinted through where he could make out was an empty hallway, ignoring the thought he could trip and fall. Beams of sweat were falling down and to his neck, and he thought his heart was gonna come out of his chest.</p><p>A blood curdling scream escaped his mouth when someone grabbed his left leg and he hit face first on the red carpet with a loud thump. He trashed around, adrenaline forcing his brain not to register his throbbing face, as he tried to get up but a shrilling scream made him realise that whoever or whatever was holding his leg, hadn’t let go. He cried in pain when he felt a pair of teeth adding to the pressure on his skin, piercing it.</p><p>“Gerard!” He wanted to scream, but it came out as a hissing sound, chest violently contracting at the air released.</p><p>Frank gawked in the direction of his leg and he paled. A pair of long and thin naked arms were holding him in place. Their long length didn’t match the size of the body. Their veins were pumping and blue and the skin had a sickening and unnatural paleness.</p><p>Oh God when the creature rose its head. Frank’s eyes had adjusted enough to the constant darkness and he clearly distinguished a pair of holes where the eyes should be. Scraps of bloodied skin hung over around it, attempting to form an emaciated face. Its mouth slightly ajar displayed a line of pointy teeth, blood dripping from them. </p><p>Frank trashed around even harder and he started whimpering. The creature opened its mouth and another piercing scream exploded in his ears. Even in his panic, Frank was wise enough to concentrate and formulate his saving words.</p><p>“Gerard!!” He screamed and this only angered the thing more. He was pulled by his feet and dragged in the direction of the door. Frank was running high on adrenaline and managed to get hold of a pew's foot. The scream didn’t stop but neither did he. Frank was kicking and harshly moving, trying to get control of his body again. The creature was eerily tall and thin; and it gave off a foul smell that had Frank trying no to vomit. </p><p>The thing was calmly looking at him and he repeatedly kicked its hand, in a failed attempt to escape, as he cursed and screamed. Frank gulped and looked at its eyes.</p><p>The thing smiled and then jumped over him and Frank's heart stopped. He was squealing and throwing punches in the air as he tried to take this thing off him but it grabbed his wrists and locked them tightly over his head. Frank was pleading to God for Gerard to help him and a sound came out of the deformed mouth in what seemed to be a guttural laugh.</p><p>He didn’t have time to think though, because the next thing he remembers was having teeths like knives tearing the sensitive skin of his neck. The high walls echoed his blood-curdling scream back to him, arching his back at the sharp pain his body was exploding with. His eyes were blurry  and unfocused from the tears and the rapidly gushing wound. His head spinned and his pleads for help soon turned into whimpers.<em> I’m dying </em>, he thought. His movements were rapidly becoming languid and slow and the last thing he remembers were those sinister hollowed voids staring right at him, satisfied, delighted. And then a dreamless sleep knocked his consciousness out, fantly hearing Gerard calling his name.</p><p> </p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</p><p> </p><p>“...<em> kie.” </em></p><p>
  <em> “Frank.” </em>
</p><p><em> “Frank!!” </em>The first thing Frank was aware of was the incessant sound of the wind crashing against the building, seemingly louder; the next thing he noticed was the way someone gently lifted his body and the watery sensation as a liquid was placed over his lips. He swallowed on instinct. </p><p>Frank was completely unaware of space and time and his mind decided to keep it that way for now as a coping mechanism. The body was intelligent after all, and when someone passes out from crippling fear, they have to step up and handle the situation. So when Frank felt something soft repeatedly pressing in a rhythm pase against his cheek, he did nothing but curl against it and succumb to sleep again. That’s what he would have done wasn’t for his mind to remember those holes staring at him and he regain consciousness with a screech.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, he tried to run, but a pair of hands set on his shoulders and Frank punched whoever it was in the face.</p><p>“Frankie, calm down.” His eyes widened at the name he was given and he walked out of his fearful state. He no longer was in pitch darkness but found himself in a familiar room. Frank glanced at the person standing in front of him and he was sick with relief. </p><p>“Gee…” As a piece of memory jumped on his mind, he touched his neck preparing to be flared with pain but the tips of his fingers sent the opposite information to his brain. His neck was intact. There was no tearing and, after looking at his hands, definitely no blood.</p><p>Gerard scanned him carefully, eyebrows furrowed in worry. He had found Frank convulsioning at the foot of the altar. That was something he wasn’t expecting to see when he heard him screaming his name.</p><p>“Frankie.” He prepared in a gentle voice. “What happened?” Frank’s eyes were unfocused and wide. He had touched his neck and that had sent a red flag to Gerard’s brain.</p><p>Frank opened his mouth but didn’t know how to begin with. He remembered the monster vividly and an unnerving thought got him lurching forward. Gerard tensed and held Frank.</p><p>“Did you kill it?” His eyes were glued on the door leading to the church, feeling that in any minute the creature would chime in and finish what it started. </p><p>“Kill what?” Gerard was beyond confused and he tightened his hold on Frank’s arms when his body tensed up, preparing for a fight.</p><p>“The monster.” Frank looked at Gerard and something snapped in Gerard when he saw the fear in those brown eyes.</p><p>“Frankie...“ He tried to soothe his nerves as gently as possible. He slipped his hands until they were grabbing Frank’s and led them both to the couch. Frank reluctantly moved after a few tugs but his eyes were still glued on the door.</p><p>“The door is locked, Frankie.” These words seemed to act as a soothing balm and Frank’s muscles loosed a bit. </p><p>The silence between them held itself as continuously as the wheezing wind. Neither of them knew how to calm the other. Frank’s eyes were fixed on their intertwined fingers and everything felt as odd as a dream. He vaguely wondered if he had died and this was some kind of limbo.</p><p>“Frankie...what happened?” Gerard was desperate to take the fear out of Frank’s slumped silhouette but he was equally afraid of the answer. Frank had to find a reasonable explanation about what happened so he thought about telling it to Gerard. He needed his comfort. He needed him</p><p>Frank took a deep breath and tried the best he could to sort out his words.</p><p>“I went to close the doors and someone surged towards me, faster than what I consider possible.” Frank didn’t miss the way Gerard gulped at this statement. “I managed to close it on time but this guy goes on bam bam bam against the door.” His hand lifted as he hit an invisible door. “And then he screams so creepily, I shat my pants. I placed the padlock and he suddenly stopped. So I stood there, trying to catch my breath when I heard a woman whimpering.” Gerard’s face paled, seemingly realizing something Frank was unaware of. “She asked for help, and began walking forward when I felt someone behind me, but there was nobody. I then looked back and the woman was gone. Of course I dashed out of there as fast as my legs would allow me but someone grabbed my leg and I tripped.” Frank touched his cheek, hissing at the bruising already forming. “It was deformed, Gerard. It had no eyes...and it tore the muscles out of my neck, Gee. I had never been so scared in my entire fucking life.” He trailed off, voice barely a whisper. Gerard’s heart clenched.</p><p>Before his mind could react, he embraced Frank, hands rubbing small circles on his back. Frank tensed up at first, still weary from what had happened, but he slowly melted on those warm arms. He closed his eyes, enjoying the way his hands caressed his back, smelling his strong cologne (Was he wearing that a few hours ago?) Flooding his senses with Gerard, he felt his fear slightly slipping away and he reluctantly let go when Gerard went to say something.</p><p>“Frankie, “ Gerard offered him a sad smile. Frank leaned his head slightly with half-closed eyes at the hand Gerard used to caress his cheek. “When I found you, you were having a seizure.” Frank’s eyes widened as his brain processed this piece of information. “ Maybe what you saw, was a hallucination caused by this.” Gerard was against lying so much, it was beyond laughable, but he couldn’t tell the truth to Frank, not when not even him was positive that his theory was correct. Yeah, it was true he had found him having a seizure, but the reason as to why may be completely medically unrelated. </p><p>“What!? Frank looked at him bewildered. “But...I have never had anything like that and...it felt so real.” He thought at loud, placing his hand over his neck again, recomforming it was intact. If it were to be real, he would be dead by now. It made sense. “So...you didn’t find anyone on top of me?” Gerard shook his head.</p><p>Frank visibly relaxed and smiled in relief, blowing air out his nose. “For Christ sake. It wasn’t real.” There wasn’t a monster after him. It was only a trick of his fucking brain. He slumped on the couch and rubbed his eyes. Frank's uneasiness and confusion returned as soon as his eyes set on Gerard and noticed the sad smile the latter was giving in his direction. Part of Frank didn’t buy this theory and Gerard felt like a piece of shit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. How much you mean to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <em>And you must keep your soul</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Like a secret in your throat</em>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><hr/><p>In the end, Frank’s plan came down to little more than an obvious tactic; check the mysterious book once Gerard went to bed. To be honest, it's largely the only thing he can think to do, but he decided it wasn’t really a terrible plan, as plans go. Even if he came back empty handed, he’ll at least get rid of the thoughts telling him an explanation as to what happened was hidden there.</p><p>It was the third time he had tried (and failed) not to moan as he tasted the silky white cream wrapping some homemade fettuccine. Frank had no other option than to question Gerard about the odd machine when he had seen it as he sat down in front of the gourmet-like dish. He definitely wasn’t one to be good at homemade food.</p><p>Gerard showed a smile full of small teeth. “I’m glad you like it.” Frank closed his eyes, flavor exploding in his brain as his taste sense sharpened.</p><p>“How?” Frank scanned Gerard over their glasses of wine, maybe the one to blame for Frank’s sudden display of loosen inhibition.</p><p>“Well you start off by mixing ‘00’ flour with four large eggs,” Gerard began and Frank faked-laugh matter of factly.</p><p>“I meant how are you so good at this.” Gerard scratched the back of his head in an attempt to hide his embarrassment, his mind oblivious as to how to receive compliments.</p><p>“I owe it to my grandma. She taught me pretty much everything I know.” Frank knew better than to ask more about her, A flicker of what looked like pain flashed over him, vanishing before Frank could be sure it existed.</p><p>“Three cheers for Grandma Way.” Frank raised his glass and Gerard offered him a gentle smile, coping his movements.</p><p>“Three cheers for Grandma Elena.” Gerard repeated. They toasted and drank the burgundy colored wine, his eyes never leaving the smaller man’s face. Frank gave Gerard a quick and hopefully inconspicuous onceover. He had been watching Frank with half lidded eyes and his mind had taken the dangerous task of picturing Gerard in all variations of an activity that required little to no clothing. As a matter of fact, he’d decided to avoid Gerard’s gaze at all cost since every time he did, his blood would rapidly warm his cheeks.</p><p>Silence fell upon them, only interrupted by the incessant, rhythmic whistling of a storm sure to last all night; and the gentle tune of a jazz station coming from the small radio placed on top of the refrigerator. To be honest, Frank was feeling anything but relaxed. Gerard was doing an amazing job at uninterrupting staring at him. His heartbeat was rapidly increasing with every passing second and when Gerard lightly nuzzled his foot with his, the air was sparse suddenly. Frank couldn't draw a proper breath. </p><p>He cleared his throat in an attempt to raise the cloud it was falling upon his brain. He was starting to feel dazzled, the incident he had an hour ago, long since pushed to the back of his mind for later analysis, accepting for now the theory it had only been a trick of his mind and his unaccepted fear of darkness.</p><p>“So...who did you sell your soul to, to have a church like this?” Frank managed to ask and Gerard laughed, deciding to follow his line of thought.</p><p>“Nobody actually. It was my great grandfather’s.”</p><p>“So it runs in the family, then.” Frank had to grin.</p><p>“Well...He just lived here. Never opened it for the public.” Gerard admitted rather amused as he took another fork filled with the delicious pasta to his mouth. Frank definitely didn’t watch the line of his jaw slowly move as he ate.</p><p>“But..why a Church then?” Frank furrowed, utterly confused. What was the point, then? “Wouldn’t it have been easier to buy a house?” Frank added.</p><p>Gerard chuckled, apparently waiting for that answer. “He liked the aesthetic, I think. Let’s just leave at that” Frank raised an eyebrow ready to make some smartass comment but Gerard continued. “Anyway. It burned down in 1885. Had been inhabited since then, until my dad passed it down to me and I decided to fix it.” Frank was suddenly filled with so many questions his brain didn’t know where to begin with. He was amused at the fact Gerard said “fixed it” as if it was as simply as changing burned furniture.</p><p>Gerard, once again, justified Frank’s sudden idea for which he never stood to analyse, that he could read his mind.</p><p>“It took me a few years, Frankie.”  Frank pursed his lips and lasted for about five seconds before he reluctantly picked the remaining food on his plate, downhearted it was over. “I’m glad you like it.” Gerard had finished his serving a few minutes ago and was watching Frank over half lidded eyes. He leaned forward on his elbows, his face the picture of innocence. The smaller man had a sudden wave of self consciousness and dedicated his entire attention to the plate in front of him.</p><p>“This is the best thing I have ever had.” Frank tried to hide the heat Gerard’s intense gaze was causing on his face, and spoke with his mouth full. “And that’s quite sad if you think about it.” Gerard’s silvery laugh did the same effect to Frank’s heart as he was sure a shot of adrenaline would and he cleared his throat, needing more wine to calm his nerves.</p><p>“Then I can count with you paying a visit again.”  Frank wasn’t sure if it was another trick of his eyes or his lack of sobriety -he had, after all, had three cups of wine already, thank you very much-. Frank shivered. There were emotions in those eyes; so clear and so obvious, his throat constricted. </p><p>He drank the remaining of his glass until the last drop, earning a pair of widened eyes from Gerard; and now that he thought about it, was the perfect culprit for what later came out of his mouth.</p><p>“Oh, you can be sure I’ll be coming back for more than just the food.” The words were out of Frank’s mouth before he could stop them. That was perhaps a little too much truth to disclose aloud.</p><p>Gerard’s face mirrored Frank’s surprised expression as the words reached his ears. A chill ran down Frank’s spine when he noticed Gerard’s dilated pupils. He opened his mouth to say something but his words died on his throat as the ring the phone started making, Gerard’s mood shifted; edging on anger rather than flirtatious. </p><p><em> Saved by the bell, </em>Frank thought, sobering up a little.</p><p>Gerard stood up, eyes fixed on the phone and slowly walked in its direction, as if hoping to miss the call. Frank curiously wondered why he looked like a criminal walking to his death. When Gerard picked the phone, Frank thought he understood.</p><p>“Hi mom.” He greeted with everything but contentment tinting his voice. In fact, it was a mix of sadness and tiredness. Frank didn’t come across Gerard as the kind to avoid his mother; on the contrary, he saw him visiting her every sunday and talking to her regularly on the phone.</p><p>“Yeah. I know what happened. Mikey was here today.” So the edgy boy’s name was Mikey. Frank would be lying if he said he had forgotten about him; but didn’t need to give any more displays to Gerard of how interested he was in him with every passing breath. It was dangerous to put for everyone to see how his barriers were lowering against his will.</p><p>“I won’t do anything, mom. He brought this upon himself. And you know what they really want from him.” Gerard’s voice had gone from appealing, as he was talking to Frank; to a rough and quietly threatening as his mother seemed to distress him.</p><p>“I don’t care alright!? Thanks to him, my life is in danger!” He shouted and Frank jumped on his seat. He shifted uncomfortably at the tension the room was filled with. He pretended not to panic when Gerard’s lastly spoken words reached his brain. <em> Was Gerard in danger. </em>The sudden image of the eyeless thing staring back at him, had him tensing up and wondering if what happened earlier had something to do with what Gerard was saying.</p><p>“What do you want me to do, mom?. Do you want me to show them my throat and let them do to me whatever they want, so dad can carry on being an asshole without consequences? Do you want me to sacrifice myself for the ‘noble’ cause?” He spitted, blood bowling in his veins. Gerard was with his back to Frank, but he didn’t need to look at his face to know it was framed with anger and something that sounded like -sadness?</p><p>“I thought with what happened six years ago, his brain was gonna lighten up and listen to me when I told him to leave them alone. But I can see that if he survives this one, he’ll get up and continue to mess with them; He won’t stop until he gets us all killed, or worse; and you know that.” Frank was trying not to eavesdrop, he really was; but his empty plate wasn’t doing a good job at keeping his brain entertained; and he, once again, wanted to punch himself.</p><p>“Don’t try and pull that card on me; I’ve paid my ‘doubt’ -as you very much like to call it- with him since I was little.” His mom apparently interrupted him but Gerard had nothing left to say. “I’m done with him and you. If you have a death wish, leave us both Mikey and I out of it.” And with that, he hanged up on her with twice the force necessary, almost (if not already) breaking the phone. He didn’t wait nor care what his mother had to say to that. And when the phone rang almost immediately after, he disconnected it.</p><p>Frank’s gaze, tentatively landed on Gerard, who was simply standing; back on him; shoulders going up and down in tune with his heavy breathing; Gerard was fuming and Frank was filled with uneasiness and fear (and the urge to hug him) at the sudden change of mood they both experienced. One led by the other. He shivered at the thought of something happening to Gerard. </p><p>As if on queue, Gerard stiffly turned and collapsed into the sofa next to him, sprawled out in a look of total concern, with his head on one of the thick arms and his feet dangling over the other. Frank, who was still sitting, back straight in tense alert and head turned in Gerard’s direction, wanted nothing more than to sit next to Gerard, put his head on Frank’s chest and gently caress all his worries away. His skin tingled for that intimate contact. But he knew better than to push his luck; so he settled for cautiously sitting on the gray suede chair across from Gerard. Footsteps small, trying to make as little noise as possible so he wouldn’t stress Gerard more than what he already was.</p><p>Only one of the table lamps was on, and the edges of the room were indistinct and lost in shadow. The lights from his electronic equipment glowed. </p><p>Not meeting Frank’s gaze, Gerard lay on his back and indolently took a box of cigarettes out of his front pocket, looking at the ceiling as he lighted it up. "Sorry you had to see that; my family...is a piece of work." Gerard took a puff and his body deflated. "I’m supposed to pick up after their broken plates." He shrugged. "But I’m done, you know?"</p><p>Frank kicked off the slippers Gerard had lent him and tucked his feet under him. He flicked a glance at Gerard as he passed him the cardboard with cigarettes and a lighter. </p><p>"It isn’t as if she could stop me," Gerard continued, talking to the ceiling. "So to punish me for doing what I want instead of what she wants; or rather, what both my mom and dad want; she makes sure to let the blame fall on me when what I say would happen, happens." A grimace escaped him.</p><p>Gerard stiffened. The force of his gaze struck Frank cold. His words froze in his throat at the hatred in Gerard’s expression.</p><p>"Gee, you can tell me to back off if it's none of my business, but why did you say your life was in danger?" Frank asked, slightly terrified of Gerard’s answer, but wanting to know the answer on the same level.</p><p>He seemed surprised as he looked at Frank. In a flat voice that spoke volumes, he said, "I did it to tick my mom off." A flicker of what looked like pain flashed over him, vanishing before Frank could be sure it existed. "It’s true, though," he added. "My dad is the kind to tickle the bull in the balls, and cry when he attacks him."</p><p>Cigarette forgotten, Frank stared. "Uh, did he pissed the wrong people?" Frank finally asked.</p><p>Gerard's head moved in a slow, controlled nod. Green eyes watching him, he moved his cigarette between his lips in a slow dance. The subtle display of sensuality took Frank aback, and he shifted uneasily on the chair.</p><p>"My dad comes from a long family line of...let's just call them hunters," he said between puffs to his cigarette, and Frank wondered if he knew how provocative he looked. "Three generations ago, what they did became prohibited. They realized the damage they had done but did nothing to fix it. Instead, they continued to do illegally, backing themselves up with some ‘it was what our ancestors would have done’ bullshit. I'm the first to have set foot on the brakes and refuse to do it. My little brother, Mikey, followed my footsteps; But since I’m the oldest, blame and dishonor falls on me; I’m not complaining, though. I’m happy they left my brother alone."</p><p>Frank nodded as if he understood, but he didn't. He made a mental list as to what they could hunt that became illegal more than a hundred years ago. </p><p>“Were they some kind of...hit men?” Frank knew he had landed very close to the truth when Gerard’s gaze stood on his eyes under long eyelashes and then he looked away.</p><p>“My dad was attacked yesterday.” He dodged Frank’s question, his words drainig the warmth from the room. “This time, he angered the wrong people.”</p><p>Frank hesitated. “And why does that affect you, if it was him the one to do it?” He was starting to become restless.</p><p>Gerard’s eyes fixed on the ceiling as he submerged in deep thought. “I wonder.” He said sarcastically, the answer already on his tongue but refusing to let it go. When Frank said nothing, he swung himself upright to put his boots on the floor. “They want revenge, Frankie. My dad did something horrible to them. And they want ‘me’ to pay for it."</p><p>The cigarette went tasteless. Heart pounding, Frank searched his gaze, praying it would just be Gerard staring back at him. His eyes were a deep green, but something was in them. Something old that he didn't understand. Frank’s stomach clenched, and he was suddenly unsure of himself. "Don't be afraid of what happened earlier," Gerard whispered. Frank thought his words were meant to be soothing, but they tightened his skin until it tingled. "There are a lot more dangerous things to be afraid of." Frank wasn’t sure if with ‘earlier’ he meant what he said on the phone. Or if it was something more sinister as to what happened when he was, allegedly, attacked.</p><p>Either way, Frank didn’t want to know. Unsure as to what was worse.</p><p>"Things like the one your father angered?" He said, hoping he hadn't gone too far.</p><p>"Things like the one my father angered," Gerard breathed. "That's why I'm living in a church."</p><p>Frank’s thoughts went to the tiny cross on the leather bracelet Ray had gotten him for his birthday last year. His best friend had mentioned how it never failed to impress him that something so small could stop so powerful a force; Ray told him to always keep it on. And Frank complied.</p><p>Gerard looked up from under his lowered brow. "You do have a crucifix, don't you?"</p><p>"Right here," Frank said with forced brightness. He wouldn't let him know he was putting Frank on edge; he wouldn't. Holding up his hand, Frank gave it a little shake so the shirt's sleeve fell to his elbow to show his bracelet.</p><p>Gerard put his boots on the floor. Frank relaxed at the less provocative position until he leaned halfway over the coffee table. His hand went out with an unreal quickness, gripping his wrist before Frank knew Gerard had moved. He froze, very aware of the warmth of his fingers. Gerard studied the wood-inlaid metal charm intently as Frank fought the urge to pull away. "Is it blessed?" he asked.</p><p>Face cold, Frank nodded, and Gerard released him, easing back with an eerie slowness. It seemed Frank could still feel his grip on him, an imprisoning firmness that wouldn't tighten unless Frank pulled away. "Mine, too," he said, drawing his cross out from behind his shirt.</p><p>Impressed anew with his crucifix, Frank set aside the cushing he had brought over his lap and scooted forward. He couldn't help but reach out for it. The tooled silver begged to be touched, and Gerard leaned across the table so Frank could bring it closer. Ancient runes were etched into it, along with the more traditional blessings. It was beautiful, and Frank wondered how old it was.</p><p>Suddenly, he realized Gerard's warm breath was on his cheek.</p><p>Frank sat back, Gerard’s cross still in his hand. The taller man’s eyes were dark and his face blank. There was nothing there. Frightened, Frank flicked his gaze from him to the cross. He couldn't just drop it. It would smack him right in the chest. But he couldn't set it gently down against him, either.</p><p>"Here," Frank said, terribly uncomfortable at his blank stare. The smile that warmed his soul nowhere to be seeing. "Take it."</p><p>Gerard reached out, his fingers grazing Frank’s as he grasped the old metal. Swallowing hard, Frank scooted back into his chair and adjusted his jumper to cover his waist.</p><p>Moving with a provocative slowness, Gerard took his cross off. The silver chain caught against the black sheen of his hair. He set the cross on the table between them. The click of the metal meeting the wood was loud. Eyes unblinking, he curled up in his chair opposite Frank’s with his feet tucked under him and stared at the smaller man.</p><p>"Um, Gee..." Frank started.</p><p>"They almost got me. Six years ago" Gerard stated softly.</p><p>His gray voice ran down Frank’s spine, shutting off his throat. Breath held, he met the black of Gerard’s eyes. Something had shifted, and Frank wasn't sure what was going on anymore. He wanted Gerard, but something about the atmosphere in the room gave him the chills rather than turning him on.</p><p>"I fought back, and I was able to run away before they could do it right," he said, and though he didn't move, Frank felt the tension in the room swell until he couldn't hear the whistling wind anymore. "They bit me, but not the way it was supposed to; and I ran away before they could fix it. And then I hid in the church and their opportunity was lost. Do you know what that means - Frank?" His words were slow and precise, falling from his lips with the soft permanence of whispered psalms.</p><p>"No," Frank said, hardly breathing.</p><p>“I got some of their perks; But without having to pay the price.” He said. “Giving me a little of both worlds.” Sweat broke out on the small of Frank’s back, and as if in response, Gerard took a breath and held it.</p><p>Gerard uncurled from his chair, and Frank’s breath hissed in through his nose. Gerard jerked at the sound. Slow and methodical, he put his boots on the floor. "And although my reflexes and strength aren't as good as theirs, they're better than yours," he said.</p><p>Struggling not to show his alarm, Frank refused to shrink backward as Gerard put his palms flat on the table to either side of his cross and leaned forward.</p><p>“Am I scaring you, Frankie?”</p><p>Frank’s heart pounded. He couldn't look away from his eyes; If it hadn’t been impossible given the fact he had never lost sight of him, he would have sworn this wasn’t the Gerard he had spent a lovely evening with; He was something else. Something darker. Wearing Gerard’s sweet face.</p><p>Frank nodded his head, afraid his voice would crack. He was walking a knife edge.</p><p>His eyes grew fervent. Torso unmoving, he levered one of his knees up onto the coffee table, and then the other. He was coming at Frank.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Frankie. But you’re just so, “ The air was suddenly missing when Gerard took a deep breath, savoring it as it entered through his nose. “<em> Intoxicating.” </em>The softness of his voice rubbed against Frank’s skin until it tingled.</p><p>Kneeling on the table between them, he said. "You smell so sweet. It hurts not to try."</p><p>Gerard exhaled, moving his entire body. His breath sent a shock reverberating through Frank. His eyes went wide. All he'd have to do was reach out. Gerard was inches from him. Poised. Waiting. In the silence, Frank could hear his own heart pound. The sound of it echoed in his ears. He watched in expectation as Gerard broke his gaze from Frank’s, running it down his throat to where he knew his pulse throbbed.</p><p>Gerard closed the distance between them. Frank managed to hide the shudder that ran through his spine as he felt Gerard’s breath against his ear.</p><p>“I would never hurt you, Frankie.” His words fell from his lips with the soft caress of a silky whisper. Frank’s insides swell with desire, goosebumps arising on his neck as the smooth, warm air was now where his pulse throbbed.</p><p>Frank’s half lidded eyes were fixed on the ceiling, mouth agape taking quick, shallow breaths as Gerard’s lips ghosted over his sensitive skin, not touching but close enough to know it was there. This sent waves of heat down his groin and Frank silently gasped. He was having trouble remembering how to breathe, but when he felt a light kiss place over his pulse, he forgot altogether and couldn’t stop the shudder that went through his entire body, making Gerard grin.</p><p>“Would you let me, Frankie?” Gerard’s words caressed his skin, blending with the longing his lips were creating and forcing Frank’s eyes shut. “Would you let me take care of you?” Frank’s throat closed with a choked gasp as Gerard’s lips trailed up to his jaw, sloppy kisses as steps; all the way marking these words on him. “Of your body?” Gerard reached out and fingers like feathers ran through his jaw and to his hair. </p><p>Frank hummed in response and he heard a low grumble that sounded pretty much like a moan erupting from his throat as he found Gerard’s weight on him pinning him to the chair, knees next to his thighs. When his lips got away from his skin, Frank tried not to look as disappointed as he was. Already missing those red and swollen lips. He reluntally opened his eyes, staring at Gerard through half lidded eyes.</p><p>The green pair was nowhere to be seen; replaced with black orbs staring back at him hungrily and dazzled. Slowly, like he was worried that Frank might push him off, he reached out and placed his hands on Frank’s chest. His fingers explored the surface over the jumper for several minutes until they gently landed on his lips, staring intently at them and then finding those eyes fixed on Frank’s.</p><p>Frank was starting to believe his theory more and more about him dying and this being his own personal heaven. If that wasn’t the case, he was sure to die in this moment when his heart was about to run out of his chest and Gerard was looking at him like he actually meant something.</p><p>When Gerard’s lips lowered once more, leaving a trail of wet kisses that were sure to leave marks, Frank’s mouth stood open as a fish out of water. But when Gerard found a particularly sensitive spot he gasped so loud it sounded like a scream.</p><p>“Fuck!” Gerard jolted but didn’t pull away.</p><p>“Sorry.” He said although he wasn’t sorry at all and Frank felt a smirk curving on Gerard’s mouth.</p><p>“No it’s just...I’m really sensitive there.” Frank managed to whisper, breathing hard. </p><p> Gerard’s fingers around his chin tightened, and then there was a distinct feeling of fang-sharp teeth pressing into the hinge of his jaw, anything but gentle and Frank emitted such a lewd moan, he’d have been embarrassed if his mind was totally functioning. But right now, his head was as light as a cloud, limbs moving slow as they do in dreams.</p><p>His fingers flexed and clenched in the hair at the nape of Gerard’s neck, and Gerard felt the shudder running through Frank’s body against his. He dragged his nose up Frank’ jaw to just below his ear and nipped.</p><p>“<em> Gee </em>,” Frank breathed out.</p><p>Gerard took a long, deep, not-subtle sniff, right where his nose was tucked into that spot behind Frank’s ear, and all he was able to smell was sex, heady and dark and syrupy sweet.</p><p>He pulled his mouth away from Frank’s skin - to a very gratifying whine of disappointment - and tipped Frank’s head up to get a look at his face.</p><p>Which was nothing less than a picture of absolute bliss; eyes closed, lips parted, cheeks flushed - Gerard groaned at the sight of him.</p><p>Frank opened his eyes, blinking at him - and if Gerard had had any doubts of the effect he’d been having on Frank, he didn’t anymore- .Frank’s eyes were the definition of bedroom eyes, glassy, pupils dilated, lids half-lowered so his gaze was directed under long eyelashes.</p><p>“Gee,” Frank said again, breathless and a little weak, and it sounded just as desperate as Gerard felt.</p><p>Gerard salivated, unable to hold back the shiver that went down his own spine; the man under him was heart-stoppingly beautiful like this. Shaking apart in his arms, under just the press of his mouth against his skin.</p><p>He felt absolutely no shame at all about his sudden desire to make Frank come, just like this. With Gerard in his lap and still fully dressed; he was already addicted to the sound of his sweet moans, the tentative movements of his hips. </p><p>The taller man gently closed the distance between them, not missing the way Frank’s eyes glinted before closing. Frank's mind was suddenly drunk with Gerard. He was a fantastic kisser, knew just how much pressure to use and where to lick and when to nibble and oh, Frank really liked it when his tongue licked his bottom lip, asking for permission which Frank gave without doubting. He moaned softly, deep in his throat, electricity running through his body as that moist tongue intertwined with his and Gerard buckled his hips in response, giving Frank a oh so delicious friction to his painfully hard member. </p><p>“Frankie,” he says, his own voice tinted with unrestrained desire, “Are you - can I?”</p><p>It wasn’t even a whole question, and he wasn’t sure what he was trying to even ask, because he wanted everything, but Frank just as gone on pleasure as he was simply nodded; frantic, rolled his hips up unconsciously. </p><p>Gerard didn't hesitate for a second further before he got his hands on the hem of Frank’s jumper and pulled it off, already eager to find out if Frank was as sensitive everywhere else.</p><p>The first thing he did when faced with the new span of skin was press his face right in the hollow of Frank’s throat, between his collarbones. He smelled incredible there, like clean sweat and pure Frank, lemon and sage, and Gerard couldn’t help but flick his tongue out and licked a long line up his throat.</p><p>Frank’s head tipped back with a punched-out moan, and Gerard responded by rubbing their bulged erections thogether with a firm bite right over his pulse point.</p><p>“You’re so beautiful, Frankie,” he groaned, following up the bite with a wet, open-mouthed kiss. “Can I keep you forever?”</p><p>Frank hummed gleefully and tightened his grip on Gerard’s hip with one hand; while the other was tightly tangled on Gerard’s hair.</p><p>He dragged his hands up Frank’s sides, resting right on either side of his chest, teasingly close to his nipples, and if the way Frank’s humping forward and whines were any indications, Gerard was right to think he’d be sensitive there too.</p><p>Gerad groaned again and landed a vicious bite just above Frank’s collarbone, absolutely delighted in the way Frank’s body went tight, probably already close. He smelled close. And Gerard could feel his own pre-come dripping into his jeans; if he could bother to tear his face away from Frank’s skin and looked down, he’d probably see the wet patch forming.</p><p>He licked over the spot he’d just bitten, sucked a bruising kiss there, and then inched his right thumb closer to Frank’s nipple. Didn’t touch it yet, but Frank squirmed, clearly trying to get Gerard’s thumb closer.</p><p>He kept going, kept biting and sucking and licking at Frank’s neck and throat and collar like a fucking chew toy; humping Frank increasingly fast, absolutely lost in the delicious sensation until his moans turned high and needy and he started whining and whimpering over Frank. And then he finally pressed his thumb to Frank’s nipple. Just tentatively, just a brush, but Frank’s hips humped forward and he cried out, so Gerard pressed harder just as he landed a particularly harsh bite to the meat of his shoulder, muting his own screams.</p><p>He smelled it just before it happened. Frank’s hips jerk forward twice and then he stilled, soiling his pants, Gerad’s name broken on his tongue, and he practically collapses holding Gerard against his body, shivers of aftershocks rolling through him.</p><p>Gerad only needed a few more strokes. He groaned, jaw clenched against Frank’s skin, his hand on Frank's hair urging now, instead of just gently holding him. He was helpless to it now, moaning, leaking; his back arched hard as he came in his pants like a fucking teenager, hands scrabbling, hips jerking helplessly with the pulses.</p><p>It's the most vulnerable Frank's ever seen him (in the period they've known each other) , and it's enough to make him hard again. </p><p>It’s a few minutes before Frank got his brain back online, gazing up at Gerard doe-eyed and fucked-out.</p><p>“Oh my god,” he said, and he had this deliriously happy grin stretching across his face. </p><p>Gerard returned his smile, hiding his face in the crock of his sweaty, already bruising neck. Enjoying the warmth, comfortness and Frank’s smell as his brain slowly came out of its fussiness. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and it was just right. The world no longer existing. Just the two of them. In their tiny space.</p><p>“I mean it, Frankie.” He gently raised his head, softly placing his hand on Frank’s heated cheek. “I want to be able to gain your trust...and your love.” Frank stared back at him with glassy eyes, and leaned into his warm touch closing his eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! Hope you've enjoyed tonight's chapter. Finals are here so I'm gonna try to do weekly updates.</p><p>Please comment and enjoy &lt;3</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Update</h2></a>
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    <p>Hello pretty people. I'm currently struggling with hard things and I find myself having to deal with this thing my brain does called 💫Depression and treated OCD enhaced by this depresive episode 💫 I'll be back as soon as things get better and/or find myself a small gap to write along with my will to live. Don't worry, it will probably take some weeks. Thought I should give you this update</p><p>Remember:</p><p>T H I S  S T O R Y  W I L L  N O T  B E  A B A N D O N E D</p><p>Xoxo💋</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. And his eyes were the color of black ice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Slight dubious consent</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>       </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>This hadn’t been the plan.</p><p>Not that Frank had planned it, of course. Planning was for the sort of person who -- well, <em> planned </em>things, and Frank wasn't. Not things like this. He considered, and he wanted, and he created ridiculous scenarios in his head he knew would never come to pass. At least he was almost certain they would never come to pass, but he didn't plan, because planning implied a measure of hope, and quite frankly, Frank had never been one for hoping. Not after all that had happened.</p><p>The <em> other </em>plan was simple; as easy as it comes down to checking (after finding) a damn book. But, of course, as he remembered the feeling of those warm and soft lips over his neck, the last thing he wanted to do, was to read a book.</p><p>The ghost feeling of Gerard’s lips, brought something more than the undistintibly tint of arousal. It made him realize he didn’t remember what had happened after he came out of his climax; Frank can’t be sure if he dreamt the words ‘sleep’ coming out as a gentle whisper. Because that could be the last thing he remembered before sleep overtook him; And it surely made him wonder where he was, after opening his eyes and finding himself splayed out on an unknown king size bed, covered with a few blankets and (after looking under them) half naked.</p><p>This certainly brought more questions than answers and Frank’s slumber quickly banished. He looked around, aware he was the only person in the room.  Frank’s stomach clenched, and he was suddenly unsure of himself. He was sure it hadn’t been a dream. Since, when it came down to wet dreams, they were never as pleasant as this one (and they always stopped when he was about to come, thank you very much); Problem wasn’t whether it had been real or not. A cold broke at the back of his head at the thought of Gerard regretting everything that happened. </p><p>His eyes darted over the two stories stained-glass, following the drops he could see falling down the misted glass, As he tried not to let his mind run freely with thoughts.</p><p>As much as Frank dreaded jumping to conclusions, he was voided of options when he found an empty kitchen with a note laying on the table. Of course, <em> this, </em> hadn’t been what he was expecting. Since Gerard had been the one to start kissing him, he was hoping for some kind of reassurance, he would even dare to hope for excitement at seeing him. Something that would say to him ‘ <em> Hey, I’m glad you like me back’ </em> or maybe just a simple ‘ <em> Hey, I’m glad you exist!’; </em>He unconsciously starved for affection; Instead, he was welcomed by a cold and empty kitchen. </p><p>He knew better than to be pretentious, of course. He would have been happy with burnt toasts; It was the fact Gerard hadn’t even bothered to wake him up with a kiss on the cheek. Or maybe drawing circles on his back. What the hell, just sitting by the table and waiting for him would be enough to ease his rising anxiety; Was it too much to ask? After all, he could somehow still feel his tongue on his mouth. Gentle but full of passion. The way his soft lips had bruised and kissed and licked his aching neck; Hoping for some cuddles was too ambitious. Being sucked into his sobering imagination had become the only relief. </p><p>Frank stepped forward and his eyes set on the note written in sideways cursive.</p><p>
  <em> Frank. I had an emergency and dashed out. There’s milk and eggs in the fridge. Make yourself at home. Don’t wait for me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, G </em>
</p><p><em> He called me Frank. </em> There were a lot of mixed feelings going through Frank’s head right now and none of them were good. That cold feeling he thought to be gone, returned to his chest and squeezed violently, causing his breath to hitch; So many things were giving him the hint; As small as calling him ‘Frank’ instead of ‘Frankie’ (A nickname he had grown to like ( <em> love) </em> because Gerard had chosen it and it made Frank special) and as big as telling him not to wait for him. A ‘kind’ <em> Please leave </em>would have had the same effect on him. And it was probably what Gerard actually meant.</p><p>He left without a word and walked as quickly as he could until he was too weak to go much further. Knowing all too well the feeling of being unwelcome. But his heart clenched at the idea of Gerard looking at him the same way everybody else did. </p><p>Frank bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to let the tears fall as his feet kicked the snow in front of him. The burning cold was rightfully ignored, practically jogging away from the somber church.</p><p> </p><p>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</p><p> </p><p>There were so many contradictions. In fact, everything that had happened today pretty much contradicted every single interaction he had had with Frank. Why did he suddenly change his mind? Did he say something wrong? Did he do something wrong? <em> Should he have done something more last night? He fucking fell asleep!, </em>This thoughts followed Frank’s inability to stop thinking about Gerard</p><p>“Excuse me!” Frank was suddenly torn from his deep insight by the high pitched yell of a customer. He inwardly cringed and headed her way, hesitant as a few heads turned her way.</p><p>“Yes?” He tried his best to show a fake smile but knew he had failed the moment his eyes set on her angry features. </p><p>“What do you mean with ‘yes?’. I asked for ¾ of milk and ¼ of coffee. This has ¾ of coffee and ¼ of milk! What is wrong with you!?” Frank had to blink for a few seconds thinking what she had asked and what he had brought, making her frown her thin eyebrows even more. “Are you making fun of me?” Frank had to clench his hands in a fist so he wouldn’t throw the coffee right at her face. But all eyes were on him now and he had to think fast.</p><p>“I am so sorry for the mistake. Please, allow me to bring you a new coffee.” He attempted to take the coffee away from her (and him away from her) before he did something he regretted. But her fuming hadn’t stopped and she did a sound you would expect from a squishy dog toy.</p><p>“No need. I’ll go to a place where they won’t struggle with such an easy task.” She grabbed her purse and looked at him with airs of haughtiness before turning on her heels and making a loud exit.</p><p>Frank stood dumbfounded. Not believing what had happened. The silence on the small restaurant was palpable and he didn’t have to look to know all eyes were set on him. The urge to follow her and throw the coffee over his obvious expensive purse made his hands twitch; But he settled for picking the cup with ¾ coffee and ¼ milk and headed for the bar.</p><p>“I’ll discount that from your salary.” The owner said to him without even looking at him as his fingers strategically tipped on the register.</p><p>“What? But…” Apparently, the fact that the salary couldn’t even cover rent wasn’t enough. He had to go out of his way and manage to gain even less money; Yup, that’s how talented Frank was; He sighed and took the orders that were waiting for him on the counter, praying he hadn’t got them wrong as well. And if he had, that they would be kind enough not to make a scene as well.</p><p>The events that transcended last night and this morning were having a deeper effect than what he would have expected and wished for. Clearly, when it came to Gerard, he lost the remaining self control he had left, if any.</p><p>He shouldn't think about it, because no good could come from it. Best if he forgot the whole thing, really. Particularly the way Gerard had felt on top of him, and how he'd shivered when Gerard had laughed against his neck. Or the way they'd kissed: soft and slow with wine on their lips, then harder and faster with desperation on their tongues. Or Gerard’s hands, warm and determined as they'd pulled at Frank’s clothes. Or the smile that had tugged at his mouth when Frank had gasped and came, hot and thick under Gerard’s dick, separated only by a thin layer of clothing.</p><p>Of course, he wanted to think about it, because he'd wanted that -- exactly that. Well, almost exactly; he could've done without the wine, and not just because his head ached and his tongue felt covered in wool. But, as things stood, there had been wine, and Gerard was acting all vampire-like and things had happened, and he shouldn't think about it. If he did, he'd have to admit that things happened, and because things had happened, Gerard was now distant, and that brought Frank back to his problem.</p><p>He stood drained, watching behind the counter as Greg (or was it Craig?) re-tied his apron for what seemed to be the fourth-hundred time in an attempt to obtain the perfect bow, as he waited for table twelve’s order.</p><p>Frank’s eyes cut over to the door when the bell jingled and a tall man walked in. His eyebrows furrowed when his mind seemed to recognize him but didn’t bother telling him from where.</p><p>He glanced at Greg, who was seemingly more interested in talking to the chef than minding the new guest. With a sigh, he pushed himself forward and away from the counter, aware that table twelve wasn’t gonna be seeing their orders soon judging by their laughs. Frank didn’t even bother trying to smile. Instead, his efforts were pointed at archiving a neutral expression.</p><p>“Welcome to The Golden Spoon. My name is Frank and I’ll be taking your order.”</p><p>He was an older man wearing dark sunglasses despite being dark outside. The man cocked his head sideways and, even though Frank couldn’t see them, he could feel the intense gaze over him. Frank’s feet shifted uncomfortably. </p><p>Frank’s nasal cavities flared. Nothing within the man smelled right, muted and slightly burnt, and it became more obvious as he took his leather jacket off, clogging his nose like ash. Now, a scent smashed through it and into him like a sharp blast of winter air in the middle of July. Metallic and cold, but alive in a way he couldn’t understand.</p><p>He bared his teeth at Frank and raised a hand to place his sharp jaw over it. Frank eyed him, the passing lights illuminating him in flashes that seemed to mirror his uncertainty.</p><p>Without saying a word, he took off his sunglasses. Frank had a better look at him. His nose was narrow, and his wide-spaced, almond-shaped eyes and thin lips added to his exotic appearance. His eyes were very dark, and they shone as he took his knitted hat off and tucked it over the table. He kept his skull clean-shaven, and his honey-amber skin glinted in the light from over his table. </p><p>“It’s nice to finally meet you, Frank.” Frank’s tension intensified as he pretended not to hear the word ‘finally’. His voice was deep and it seemed to carry the strength of sand and wind.</p><p>“Today’s chef suggestion is tomato soup.” He was looking at him with an intensity that made Frank look away. He didn’t mention the fact the soup looked like coagulated blood. The faster he ordered, the faster he could escape.</p><p>“As delicious as that may sound, I’ll have a burger with extra cheese. Rare.” He smiled at him, his canines a bit longer than normal and they looked very white next to his dusky complexion. Frank felt himself shrink. “To drink, I’ll have a beer, pumpkin.” He anticipated Frank’s question and he had to blink a couple times at what he had called him. </p><p>He turned around without a word and headed for the kitchen. The path, a never-ending hall of empty tables and wet ceramic. The certainty that he was being watched washed over him in a prickling of skin from the back of his neck down to his arms. </p><p>The chef received the order without glancing at Frank, frowning as he interrupted his conversation with Greg or Craig. </p><p>He dared a glance at his back and found himself making direct eye contact with that strange man. It probed past his surface and down, down to when Gerard’s face was hovering over his, baring his teeth, and the split-second Frank had wanted them to clamp onto his skin before Gerard had shied away. The entity touched the impulse like it was a physical thing, eating away at Frank's mind like it had his body.</p><p>The click of the metal meeting the wood was loud and it took Frank out of his trance. He placed two cups of coffee over his tray and a plate presenting a heavy burger gushing melted cheese from its sides. It looked anything but good. </p><p>Balancing with one hand, he opened the refrigerator and took a beer out of it before closing it with his hip. After taking a deep breath, his heart unknowingly beating faster when he found a pair of black eyes fixed on him, he headed to table twelve. With an apologetic smile because of the long wait , he placed the cups of coffee next to the customers.</p><p>They thanked him and after they didn’t complain of a mistake on their orders, he let the air escape his lips. That was until he turned around and those black eyes had never left him, an odd tingle starting at his scalp and going down his spine.</p><p>He pushed his way around an empty table and closed the distance between them. Slowly, like a prey walking to a predator. Frank’s eyes fixated on the smooth surface as he went to place the order in front of him, trying not to look at his face.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a wide smile.</p><p>“Frank.” He said slowly and with care. “I've been waiting to meet someone civil enough to be polite. You see, I’m new to the city and there’s no one out there willing to show me around."</p><p>Frank froze and darted his eyes over him. The idea of seeing him again without the protection of his role as an employee terrified him and thrilled him at the same time.</p><p>“Look pal.”</p><p>“Call me Korse.” He leaned against his chair.</p><p>“...I don’t think I would serve as good company. You should try the bar around the corner.” He finished placing his order and despite his inner thoughts screaming at him to stop, he set his eyes over his.</p><p>His lips curved into a smile. "I'm charmed. But I think you’d be a perfect companion" </p><p>Frank held his breath as Korse took his hand with a high gentility that stood in sharp contrast to his looks. He lifted Frank’s fingers, bringing them close to his lips. His dark eyes were fixed on his. His pulse quickened, but he felt as if his heart was somewhere else. He inhaled over his hand, as if scenting the blood humming within them. He stifled a shiver by clenching his jaw.</p><p>Korse's eyes were the color of black ice. Frank boldly returned his gaze, intrigued at the hints beyond their depths. It was Korse who looked away first, and Frank quickly pulled his hand from him. </p><p>He slowly blinked feeling lightheaded and weak, unable to look away or even remember who he was. When Korse smiled satisfied, Frank was able to regain the strength on his legs and balanced on his feet.</p><p>It was a long moment before the feeling faded enough that they were confident to start moving. His legs tingled and even though he was walking back to the kitchen, Frank couldn’t feel the movement. </p><p>"Hey," Craig said as he glanced back at him, only to do a double-take. His gaze darted over Frank’s  face. "Umm, are you okay?"</p><p>"I’m fine," Frank lied as he used his sleeve to wipe at the sweat gathering at his hairline. He couldn’t deny his body was refusing to cool down and his hands wouldn't stop their slight shaking as he tied a bag with bread closed. He felt fevered.</p><p>“You don’t look very good. Why don’t you take a break? I’ll take care of baldy.” Frank swayed in surprise, not realizing he had started to lean against the counter.</p><p>“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” He didn’t want to miss on table twelve’s tip but he could barely keep standing, nonetheless walk. </p><p>Frank pushed himself forward and used the momentum to sit on one of the uncomfortable chairs lined against the white wall, ignoring the chef’s curious glances. He leaned over his own knees to rest his face on both of his hands. Laying down was a tempting idea, but the sounds of plates noisily pilled jostled him enough that it forced Frank's eyes to languidly open. His hands tingled and the cold prevalent on the small restaurant wasn’t enough to cool the burning under his skin. His heart beat continued to grow faster and faster and for a moment Frank thought he was having a heart attack.</p><p>He focused on the way the air entered his lungs and came out of them. He gasped when he noticed the tent on his jeans.</p><p>He was hard.</p><p>Frank’s instincts had him quickly stand up and rushed, as fast as his legs would obey, to the bathroom after giving a small notification to whoever listened; As soon as he realized he had to cross the dining room in order to reach the black door with a sign, it was too late. His legs felt heavy and shaky when he caught from the corner of his eyes Korse’s smile. Craig was talking to him, apparently giving him the check. And he was smiling, but his eyes were set on him. He was smiling at him.</p><p>His presence sent chills down Frank’s spine.</p><p>Frank felt as a few drops of sweat settle a trail down his back and his stomach squeezed. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure he could make it to the bathroom; But he did, not sure how and he smashed the door shut as he held his hands up against its frame.</p><p>He was gasping for air, fat drops of sweat falling down his hairline, his teeths gritted. Frank felt safe enough to lean against the cold wood despite the strange smell of Korse still filling his brain with cotton. He wished he had a phone. He needed to call Gerard. He hated the want his body craved for a complete stranger. He was terrified.</p><p>Frank let his head drop forward, eyes closed, as he inhaled deeply. It was completely silent except for his own fast breathing.</p><p>Frank whipped around with a strangled gasp. when the shock of a knock cracked the air.</p><p>“Hey man, you okay?” Craig’s muffled voice came from the other side. Frank’s body felt heavier by the second, his breathing more elaborated. </p><p>“Fine. Not feeling good.” He managed to breath out with a strained voice. He considered asking him if he could please call Gerard but he remembered he didn’t know his phone number.</p><p>“Umm okay.” He started not convinced at all. “Look, I talked to Kevin and he said you can leave early today if you’re not good. He won’t discount it.” He didn’t force him to open the door nor to elaborate on the reason for his breathless voice and Frank thanked him for that. “Here’s the tip from table twelve and five.” Craig said as he slipped a five dollar’s bill and a twenty under the crack of the door. </p><p>“Thanks man.” He breathed, incredibly thankful, unsure if it reached Craig’s ear. Frank didn’t have to ask who had left the twenty. He heard the slap of Craig's shoes on the ceramic grow farther and farther away until it was again silent.</p><p>His groin ached and his skin felt tight, the cold and dirty floor doing nothing to soothe the burning under his skin. He slid the remaining space until almost his entire body was horizontal on the floor. Frank couldn't breath. Arousal, excitement and crippling fear tingling under his skin in continuous waves. </p><p>Frank burned all over. He was now painfully hard. Instead of a bathroom, it felt like he had crawled into an oven. Frank pulled his scarf up over his mouth, and then pushed it in to bite down on the cloth against the urge to scream in helpless frustration. Having to jerk off wasn’t his idea of slacking at work. </p><p>He didn’t. Desperate to regain some control over his own body. </p><p>Gerard. He tried to think of his comforting scent to calm himself, but it was impossible. His, twisted into the oppressively smell of Korse.</p><p>And then he heard the loud breathing.</p><p>Just on the other side of the door.</p><p>Frank wasn't imaging the scent at all— Korse was here.</p><p>Every muscle in Frank’s body tensed as he waited to be dragged out to his end.</p><p>For an eternity, Frank listened to the deep inhales and exhales outside as he failed at staying quiet. He somehow knew the man was smelling him too.</p><p>Frank dragged himself to a corner, head spinning, as he reflexively brought his arms up in self-defense when the doors were ripped off their hinges with a metallic screech. Korse stared straight at him. Frank trembled. Everything was dark behind him as if the restaurant had closed in less than five minutes, leaving them both trapped and alone.</p><p>Frank stared back up at him, knowing his own body was pumping out chemicals in response. Had been responding since he first set his eyes on his. Pheromone to pheromone in an endless feedback loop. Any possibility of escape was blocked by his broad shoulders.</p><p>“We finally get some time alone.” He smiled.</p><p>When Korse leaned down Frank had nowhere to go or hide as that face came within inches of his own.</p><p>"Wait," Frank protested, but lost his voice when Korse’s wall of a chest pressed against his raised arms and the contact resonated through his body. Korse’s free hand came up and encircled his forearm in a bruising grip. </p><p>The break in eye contact was like a trigger and Frank yelped when his scarf was violently ripped away. Cold air rushed against his neck only to be replaced with a warm hand wrapping around it. Frank swallowed under the pressure and Korse squeezed down until Frank was wheezing.</p><p>He shut his eyes in helpless frustration as his body was unresponsive.</p><p>They flew open when something warm dragged over his skin. Korse pressed his face to Frank’s throat, hand twisting around to clamp down on the back of his neck. Frank attempted to move away, but Korse’s iron shackle hold jerked him up against his body and forced him on the tips of his toes. His mouth caught at the sensitive skin of Frank’s ear and he felt another flood of wet heat trickle out of him as his muscles relaxed.</p><p>“No wonder he chose you.” He whispered against the sensitive skin. “Your smell is so sweet.” Korse’s breathing was deafening. His deep inhales made it obvious he was scenting Frank as his nose bumped continually against Frank's neck. Crushed under his presence, Frank's desperate pulse shuddered within the confines of his chest and at every point of contact between them.</p><p>His jacket was shoved wide open as Korse's head bumped against his jaw and his exhales ghosted over Frank's collarbone. Frank shivered as his fingers pressed against his chest. Korse’s hand released his neck and dragged down his spine with rough force in successive sweeps.</p><p>Dazed, he realized he was being pet like an animal.</p><p>He tried to scream but as soon as he opened his mouth, something resembling a moan escaped him. Frank’s eyes filled with tears as his body obeyed Korse’s will. His efforts were ignored. Two big hands that spanned almost entirely around his arms lifted them up into the air. </p><p>“Ah! Don’t!” Frank gasped as something sharp pierced his neck, nerves jumping on every patch of skin. The sound that came out of Frank's mouth wasn't one of protest. </p><p>Frank steadied himself on Korse’s shoulders, feeling the hard muscle move beneath his hands. Frank fell backwards into the corner with a grunt, forced to hold on so he wouldn't smack the back of his head against the wall. Dust was kicked up into the air, sticking to Frank's sweat-slick skin as he slid down.</p><p>Lips that were surprisingly soft touched him and then the man’s tongue was sliding up and down Frank’s neck. He could feel every fingertip marking him as he moved, sweat rolling down his back under his shirt as it rode up with every push against the wall behind him. </p><p>Then, he felt him sucking. His muscles burned and cuts he wasn’t aware of on his legs stung, but the feel of that mouth made the pain almost feel good and when Korse started rubbing his hard leg against his groin, Frank thought he was going to die.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello my beautiful people, it is I. I'm back. </p><p>First of all I wanted to thank all of you who gave me words of encouragement. I really really appreciate them &lt;3<br/>I'm sorry for taking so long to update, my writing has been potato lately and I was stucked in this chapter. I started writing something and then I came up with something else entirely. Besides, I'm in fifth year of systems engineering and well, you can give yourself an idea of how much free time I have.</p><p>This chapter may be confusing but it all has a point, trust me</p><p>Korse x Frank isn't and will not be a thing. </p><p>Again, thank you so much for all your kind words. They helped me a lot.</p><p>Let me know if you enjoyed the chapter (or if you didn't)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Induction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Frank's body faces the consequences of Korse's bite. Can he get to Gerard on time?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>       </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sudden thump against hardwood snapped his eyes open with a heavy gasp. His sight was blurry and teary. Frank felt nausea as the sudden movement caused a terrible headache to hit him like a bucket of cold water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Iero! What are you doing in there!?” Kevin’s voice came in a loud and muffled screech, the needle-like pain on his eyes intensifying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Smears of wet dirt were drawn on the sickening white tiles on the floor as his legs kicked back, the memory of a dark figure above him still fresh on his mind. He rapidly glanced every corner of the small room, searching for that smile gushing dark blood and when he found himself alone, sprawled on the floor, he allowed his heart to beat again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank tapped the still sensitive skin on his neck, wincing at the thought of pain but his hand came out clean and painless. The lack of blood had him frowning and wondering if he was actually losing his mind. Frank could still feel the man ripping his neck open, but the brush of his fingers on the smut surface proved him wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jolted when another thump brought him back to reality and he reluctantly got up, not trusting his surroundings anymore. His legs were sluggish and weak forcing his weight on the handle as he opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kevin stood there, arms folded. “Iero, you’ve been there for almost an hour, there’s people wanting to use the restroom!” Frank slowly blinked, trying to get rid of the fog clouding his sight. Kevin's solid gaze softened and he raised an eyebrow, an obvious display of curiosity. Before he could ask him what he knew he would ask he said:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. Wasn’t feeling good.” The door was still locked, so he couldn’t say he had been assaulted. Frank’s lack of proof to show what Korse had done to him, or how he hadn't reacted to it, would only serve to gain him a free ticket to a mental asylum. But maybe that’s where he belonged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kevin didn’t move aside to let him pass, he stared intently at Frank. Every muscle in his body tensed as he was being trapped once again under intense eyes. Frank was the first to break eye contact and the muffled sounds coming from the restaurant reached his ears as if someone had pressed play once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The owner sighed and he silently stepped aside. Frank shrieked and twisted his body as he passed so as not to bump his shoulder against Kevin. He had had enough body contact with strangers for a lifetime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He unconsciously glanced at the table where Korse had sat, only to find it empty. He sighed with relief. Frank wasn’t sure he could bear to see him again. Not after what he was sure had happened; He tried to focus his attention elsewhere, he shouldn’t think about it, because no good would come from it. Best if he forgot the whole thing, really. Particularly, the way Korse had felt pinning him to the wall, and how he had shivered when he tore his neck open. And how his body had responded whilst he had been screaming for help in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to think about it. If he did, he’d have to admit that things had happened, and because things had happened he was aware that maybe there was something physically wrong with him, and that brought Fank back to his problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he stepped inside the kitchen, Craig (he had confirmed) shot him an apologetic smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Sorry ‘bout that. I was trying to warn you but you wouldn’t respond and there were people lining up outside and Kevin heard.” Frank’s head weighed more than his whole body and he threw himself on the chair, the vibration going up his back and making him groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, man.” Why was he the one to give comfort? “I’ve been having some shitty days, that’s it.” Craig nodded and Frank closed his eyes, head against the wall. He shivered at the frozen air coming from the open back door, where the chef’s back could be seeing as he smoked. The coolness he had been craving for, an hour ago, felt now like tiny daggers against his covered skin. His teeth started to clack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amm, look, I know I may sound like a broken record but...you should really go home. You’re as pale as a ghost, you can even stand and,” He approached Frank and placed a hand against his forehead, which had Frank slightly jerking backwards at the unexpected touch his hazy brain hadn’t predicted. “You’re burning with fever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank had to blink a few times as he processed what his coworker had said, in order to realize he was right. His eyes stung everytime he moved them and he was sweating as he shivered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to go with you? Kevin will join us.” As tempting as having his boss walk him home along with his exhaustingly cheerful coworker sounded, he would have to decline it. Walking along with people involved, well, having to talk to them since he couldn’t bear awkward silences, and having to talk to them implied making an effort to think of conversation topics or responding to questions he, honestly, wanted to avoid at all cost. And he was sure Kevin didn’t like him. Also, why would Craig need him to walk Frank home? He wasn’t five years old. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though this trail of thoughts warned him he would pass out before getting to his apartment, it wasn’t worth it. Frank just wanted to take a bus and throw himself in Gerard’s arms. But again, the last bus passed an hour ago and he wasn’t sure he could make it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks but, I think I can handle it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walk back home was filled with the chaotic energy Frank certainly lacked. After having started calm, his mind filled itself with the auto-sabotage he had grown accustomed to and the composed facade he’d manage to put up with, completely fell. His eyes would go back and forth, from sidewalk to sidewalk as the hairs on the back of his neck rose, thinking that at any given moment his attention would be forced to set on a, unfortunately, familiar face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His pace would soon match his raising thoughts and after a block, Frank’s tingling feet were soon seen jogging; And then he found himself running, heart hammering on his chest and against the confinements of his head as the pain got louder and louder with every impact his feet gave against the pavement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank’s vision blurred and spun as he forced his body to use the strength and energy he positively didn’t have, adrenaline being the only thing that kept him going. His lungs burned as he wheezed and gasped the icy air which tasted like needles. He promised to himself to do more exercise if there was a future for him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A glimpse of hope momentarily numbed the acute pain on his chest as he spotted in the distance the entrance door to his apartment block. As his legs slowly ran out of momentum, he dared a glance behind, the adrenaline dissipating on his veins, and he was struck with the realization that no one was following him. The voices that had started off as simple warnings, had taken control over his sympathetic system and forged a false sense of survival on his brain, drifting his normal behaviour to one of constant anxiety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body had not simply worked well this past twenty-six years of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank’s keys jingled as he balanced himself to push and unlock the door. The odor of fried food assaulted him as he entered the foyer, and his nose wrinkled. Green indoor/outdoor carpet ran up the stairs, threadbare and fraying. He smiled at the thought of getting home and burying himself under three sets of blankets and finally sleep this day away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His smile faded as he rounded the forth landing. All his things were in the hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the fuck?" He whispered. Shocked, he looked down the hall to Mrs. Talbu's door. "I paid my rent!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anger growing and making him dizzy, he stared at his furniture. It seemed to take up a lot more space when it was jammed into a hallway on her lousy plastic carpeting. "Where does she get off - "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lips pursed, he strode down the hall. HeI pounded on the door. "Mrs. Talbu? Mrs. Talbu!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were the muffled yaps of a loud television show, shortly followed by his landlady screeching to try and get the thing to shut up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mrs. Talbu!" He shouted. "Why is my stuff in the hall?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank heard the slamming of a door from inside. "Go away," came a thin, reedy voice. "You can't live here anymore."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fiat of Frank’s hand hurt, and he massaged it. "You think I can't pay my rent?" He said, not caring that the entire floor could hear him. "I've got money, Mrs. Talbu. You can't kick me out." His fever had certainly gone up as his body proceeded to shiver uncontrollably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I changed your lock," Mrs. Talbu quavered. "Go away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank stared at the door in disbelief. "You can't evict me!" He said desperately, feeling his blood going down his feet as he came to the realization he didn’t have a home anymore. Frank’s stomach twisted and he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t puke right then and there. "I've got rights."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The lease was under Raymond Toro’s name. And as far as I know, he won’t be coming back anytime soon," came the muffled yells. “Call the police and see which side they take.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank was silent for a second, his ringing ears trying to process what the old hag had said. Anger flared up his veins at the audacity of talking about Ray mockingly. "Damn it, Mrs. Talbu!" He shouted at the door. "I’m sick! And it’s twelve in the fucking morning. You can’t do this!" He lost his grip on trying to reason and his heart was frantically twisting on his chest at the uncertainty of his future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no answer. He stood there, thinking. This wasn’t happening. Not now. Not when there were -10ºC outside and it was dark and he had no one close he could ask for help and definitely not when he was burning with fever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about my security deposit?" Frank asked, and the door remained silent. His temper shifted to a slow, steady and forced burn, one that could last for days. He had been run over pretty much his entire life, and he was tired of just sitting back and letting it happen. This time, you can bet your ass he was gonna fight back. "Mrs. Talbu," He said quietly. "If you don't give me the balance of this month's rent and my security deposit, I'm going to sit right in front of your door." He paused, listening. "I'm going to sit here until someone tries to rob me and surely shoot me in the head. They'll probably do it right here. Make a big bloody stain on your carpet that won't come out. And you're going to have to look at that big bloody stain everyday. Hear me, Mrs. Talbu?" He quietly threatened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a gasp. "Oh my...," Mrs. Talbu quavered. "Where's my checkbook?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a rustle, followed by a moment of silence and the distinctive sound of paper tearing. He wondered why she bothered with the old lady act. Everyone knew she was tougher than petrified dinosaur dung and would probably outlive them all. Even Death didn't want her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm putting the word out on you, hussy," Mrs. Talbu shouted through the door. "You won't find a place to rent in the entire city."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A slip of white was shoved under the door and Frank picked it up and read the amount. "What about my security deposit?" He asked. "You want to come with me to my apartment and look it over? Make sure there're no nail holes in the walls or runes under the carpet?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a muffled curse, shortly followed by more scratching, and another white slip appeared. "Get out of my building," Mrs. Talbu yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank took his key from his key ring and dropped it. Angry but satisfied, he snatched up the second check.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the second dose of adrenaline, in less than an hour, wore off, his legs trembled and he stretched his arms so as to minimize the impact and take the opportunity to sit down on the dirty rug. His lingering fear rendered his feverish shaking rather hysterical. He dared a glance at his things, molding his shoulders tightened in worry as he stared at his life heaped against the walls. He knew this guy who had storage, but there was no way he could call him at this hour, and he didn’t even have a phone to start up with. There was a public phone two blocks away which probably didn’t work. And even if it did, that brought him back to his first problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smacked his head against his open palm. His frozen hands melted against his burning forehead and he knew he had to think something fast before his hissing headache got to a breaking point, which wasn’t gonna take much longer as his eyesight grew blurry.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck." Stomach knotting, He got to his feet pushing himself against the horrendous wallpaper wrapping the moisture stained wall. His thoughts swung to Ray as he spotted the guitar on top of a shelf. “I swear I’m trying, Ray.” He flinched as the ache in his eyes intensified as soon as he turned them when he heard a door shutting tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank picked the guitar and a backpack filled with what he assumed were clothes given the roundness and tenderness of its surface. He was hesitant to leave the rest behind, concerned it would not be there when this guy came to pick it up. Rumanning his options didn’t take longer than ten seconds. As disturbing as it was, his throat ached as he could still feel teeth like needles piercing him and tearing his skin apart. He begged and hoped it had only been a dream, produced by his feverish state. But deep in his guts he knew something he would have to acknowledge someday. Just not today, Frank had more serious topics to attend and right now, he couldn’t bear the idea of sitting for hours next to his stuff until he could find a place to move them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted Gerard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed Gerard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dazed, Frank dragged his legs forward, joints throbbing when his weight fell upon them. As minutes passed by, the haze surrounding his mind became thicker and thicker and his thoughts fought against its numbness when he attempted to formulate if he was gonna pass out here or try and get to Gerard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank reached for the doorknob, then hesitated. Putting his back to the wall, he pushed aside the sun-faded, yellow curtain to peek out the window. The tatty yard lay quiet in the midnight moon, empty and still. Lips pressed tight, he decided he'd wait there until he heard the bus coming. But that thought snapped him back to the reality he’d have to wait five hours, and that was being generous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grunted when his mind unconsciously accepted the fact before he settled on it. He was gonna have to take a cab and spend the last thirty dollars he had on his pocket. And the plan was sour on his mouth because it wasn’t enough. Gerard lived up on the hill surrounding this ghostly valley. Thirty dollars weren’t going to be enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit.” He murmured as he opened the door and was pushed back by the frozen wind carrying frost. He shielded himself behind his badly knitted grey scarf and his muscles began shivering, this time, not just from the fever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clenched his jaw and thanked God when he spotted a yellow car approaching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-&amp;-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive was quiet, as most traffic was subbed given the time and weather covering the city. He had told the driver the address, and he agreed to tell him when the fare was close to thirty dollars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The driver was skinny, his faded blue uniform hanging loose on him despite the vanilla wafers he was cramming into his mouth like jelly beans. He didn’t give him a weird look at his request, nor did he try to make conversation as to fill the silent atmosphere, illuminated only with soft jazz music coming from the radio. Frank mentally thanked him for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank found his tension easing as he stared out the window and counted the black, light-proof blinds. The quiet of the neighborhood seemed to soak into the cab. Even the few people riding had grown still. There was just something about this place that said "Home."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head swung forward as the cab stopped and with that, a stinging ache hit his eyes at the sudden movement. The driver told him he was stopping here and Frank handled him thirty bucks as he thanked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frank laboriously stepped down into the patchy shade, standing with his arms wrapped around the guitar and trying not to breathe the fumes as the car drove away. It disappeared around a corner, taking its noise and the last vestiges of humanity with it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tightened his hold around the guitar as his eyes adjusted to complete darkness. Hesitant, he dared a step forward only to voluntary fall to his knees when he was struck by a wave of dizziness. Gerard lived a couple blocks up, and he was aware of the fact that going up a hill took twice the effort, which added to his feverish state and snowed ground, his hopes blew up along the wind moving his raven hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grasping to the last bits of energy his body could handle, he got up and forced his aching joints to move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly he got to a lampost. Somewhere close there were kids calling - no, kids screaming - and the barking of a dog. Multicolored chalk runes decorated the cracked sidewalk, and a forgotten doll with fangs painted on it smiled blankly at him; Frank gulped down the dull pain rising from his lungs as the cold air pierced them like bits of glass. But the effort it took him to walk pushing the snow and up the sidewalk made no good in the attempts to stop breathing as fast as he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Determined to reach his destination, he walked as quickly as he could until he was too weak to go much further. When his stomach rolled, Frank hung onto the trunk of a tree and dry-heaved into the weeds until his throat ached. Frank clung to the tree and pressed his face into his sleeves until he was no longer a second away from shaking into pieces. But as minutes passed by, he wasn’t getting better and he was forced to lay down for a few seconds to regain the last bits of strength he so much craved. But his eyesight was beginning to cover itself with a dark ring decreasing its diameter nonstop and as he did, he closed his eyes and his consciousness gave up, soothing him under a deep spell of sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello babes. I have to say that as I was writing this chapter I realized that the last few I've uploaded have been filled with such a chaotic energy it's hard to think it was accidental. Poor little Frank has been dealing with some things! Sorry Frank, but you'll get there honey!<br/>Now that I think about it, when I was in my elevenish, twelvish (around 2008, 2009) I used to write a fanfic in second person about Nick Jonas x reader, and boy this reader had some strungles. They practically lived in the hospital in a non realistic way and as something you would expect from a 11 years old, pre-teen with a poor (if not lack of) experience in writing.<br/>But, aparently, drama is part of my essence and the chaotic energy my boys have to go throught is proof enough.<br/>Anyways, I know it may seem like everything is happening to Frank and please STAP, but all has a reason and he'll be filled with soft and warm moments...and then it'll be chaotic again, having reached the escenario I got in my head while taking a shower and listening to Vampires will never hurt you.<br/>So buckle your seatbelts and hang on tight, because this ride has only just begun<br/>Also I've opened a instagram page where I will upload images, videos and sounds that will complement the story. Make sure to check it out :)</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>Instagram</strong>: pink_marshmallow416</p><p>Oh, and don't forget to comment. I love to read your comments, as small as they might be &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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